Lochaber Marathon: Race Report

I can't tell you how much pleasure it was to type those 4 words. Four little words, 4 long months. 26.2 miles. I can't take the grin off my face either!

Yesterday I ran the Lochaber Marathon in 5h 14m (my Garmin said 5.11).  It was my first marathon. It was a marathon I really didn't think I'd start never mind finish.

The Lochaber Marathon is a must do marathon and a great place to do your first or any marathon.  I picked it because it's small, it's run by and for runners and it's in one of the most beautiful bits of the world.  It's also one of the oldest marathons, 2014 was its 30th year.

From the moment I registered, I knew this was the right place for me. I was nervous and sore from a long car journey and could barely walk. The prognosis was not good for running, but I was hoping for a miracle. As I registered, I felt so emotional I could have burst into tears. Would I make it to the starting line? Would I run 1 mile or 10?  But I got such a warm welcome, such a lovely smile and reassuring words from the folk on the desk that I relaxed. Whatever happened on Sunday, it was going to be okay. These lovely people would understand. All I had to do was get to the starting line.

The next day we did some gentle sight seeing, sampled local delicacies and did some gentle walking on the sands of Morar. No wonder they film so many films round this beautiful place.

On the road back, we saw the signs out for the race. I held my breath. Less than 24 hours time I might be here. The scenery was simply stunning, the road lovely and flat but it was a scarily long way. Lochaber is an out and back race and as we saw the sign for the turning point, I realised just how far I'd have to run. It silenced and humbled me.

The night before the big day, we had a seriously delicious carb loading at the Ben Nevis Inn with a view of the mighty mountain and a well deserved top rating on TripAdvisor (so good we went again to celebrate!). Then back to our room where I got my kit all paid out and ready then spent the rest of the evening trying to get my back into a runnable state. I'd forgotten my tennis ball, so instead improvised with... a turnip! A bit hard but needs must. Luckily I did remember my roller and trusty hot water bottle.

Sunday morning was wet. And cold. And windy. Here's the view from our  lovely B&B, Myrtle Bank. Not the best way to start marathon day with lashing rain and howling winds.

Given I was probably only running for a few miles I did wonder if I should just save us all a load of bother and turn back now. Wasn't I being a bit pig headed? But I'd come this far, and it would have been a real failure to have been put off by a  bit of bad weather on the big day. Especially as it was nothing like as bad as some of the weather I ran in when training.  I knew that at very least I had to start the marathon. It really didn't matter what came next. If I didn't start I'd never know what I could have achieved, and I might have wasted my one chance. Every single journey has to start with that first step.

So all porridged and vaselined up, we headed off in the pouring rain. I can't tell you how nervous I was. My mouth was dry. My tummy in knots. I was strangely quiet and introspective.  It stayed wet as the twa pipers piped us up to the start line on the shinty pitch. I went right to the back. I wanted to be out of the way, to run my race my way. Plenty of time to speed up over 26.2 miles.

We started off running through houses, along the canal and then onto the road to Mallaig - the Road to the Isles.  There were loads of lovely Marshals keeping us safe and cheering us on. It must be the friendliest race around, it was like chatting to people I meet on my runs on the beach (I did succumb to saying hello to a dog right at the end too!).  Even better, Ali was waiting for me at 4 miles to check I was okay. I was sore but not stopped in my tracks, which was progress on last Sunday when I'd had to stop at 4 miles and hobble home.

As we ran out of Fort William the views just got amazing and the sun came out. For the first time in months I was running in warm sunshine and having to think about hydration, but there were plenty of stops. I stayed at the back and got to know the small group of back runners. We were spread out which I really liked. It was like doing a normal long run, I felt no pressure to worry about anyone else or speed up or slow down. I was free to run my race, my way and enjoy the scenery and the people who came out of their houses to wave us on. I popped Danny Dreyer's Chi Running onto the ipod.

As the miles gradually racked up, I realised that pain came and went but it wasn't getting any worse.  Before I'd left I'd had a really good sorting out from Pam and Lizelle at Physio Plus so I knew that I would hurt but I also knew what was behind the pain and that this was pain that could be endured without doing me harm.

So the pain was manageable and nothing else was hurting, so I began to wonder if I could make 10 miles. At about 8 miles, the sun was shining, the loch sparkled and the air was fresh and clear. I felt I could run (slowly) forever. I knew then that I would get round even if I had to crawl. Nothing was going to stop me now, nothing. I was committed.  It was a good feeling.

For the first time since my hip seized up 3 weeks ago I began to think I might just run this marathon and it was exciting.

Now I had hope and dogged Yorkshire grit persistance, I had a strategy - to get to the end come hell or high water. I focussed on doing whatever I had to do to manage the pain and stop anything seizing up. Suddenly it didn't matter how long I took, or if I walked, hopped or jumped to the end. I was running the race I was in. Not the race I imagined, not the race I hoped for, but the race that was in the here and now. I started to really enjoy myself and go with the flow -  the pain and stretching were just matters to be dealt with. I thought about my sessions with Nick on Chi running and my Chi running chums on Facebook.

I know you read all that stuff and nod sagely, but this was serious road to Fort William enlightenment. Run the race you're in. Of course dumbo!!

As we headed past the end of the loch, past the loos and more merry Marshals, the rain began. Just light enough to be refreshing at first, a few miles later it was soaking and gusty. I quite liked the rain, I'd trained in rain, sleet and howling gales so it felt totally normal.

At the half way turning point I got a real buzz. I have a thing about getting to half way and heading home, it gives me a big psychological boost on my runs, so Lochaber suited me nicely.  I hit half way 1/2 hour quicker than my training long runs so I felt pretty positive, I know I can run 20 - maybe I could do it in 5 1/2 hours.....

A mile later everything went strange and I began to worry that I wouldn't finish. I have no idea where it came from, but about that time I experienced my own mental wall (my legs were ok).  That's when I started run/walking and when I started to wonder what was happening in my body. Had I fuelled enough, had I drunk enough? Things I never worry about when I run normally. I ate a jelly baby or two and told myself I never had to eat them again after today. I thought about my Dad. The reason I started running. Whose Parkinson's meant he was robbed of the choice of movement. Who'd be so proud of me and who would move heaven and earth to get me through.

Gradually as the next mile marker came into view and I realised I was still running (and still in 1 piece!) I got a grip. The skies began to clear and I was stretching every mile now, but every mile was a victory,  every mile was a mile I hadn't thought I could run. Every mile was nearer that finishing tape.  As I hit 20 miles I knew I was entering the unknown. At just after 21 miles, my calves started doing very strange things. It felt like a sort of popping cramp type feeling. I flashed back to my calf injury of last year and slowed right down and basically walked and ran to the end. It was frustrating, I had energy left in my legs and I had trained to speed up at the end, so a slow finish just felt wrong.  Somehow I managed to run over the finishing line 5 hours and 14 minutes after I left it.

I got a lovely hug from the woman who gave me my rather lovely medal and then from Ali along with the best cup of tea I"ve ever had. One marathon finished, against all odds.

I never thought I'd finish that marathon. For most of the last few weeks I couldn't really see much point in even starting it, but I knew that I had to at least try.  My life never goes to plan, and once I accepted that this marathon wasn't going to plan either I realised I had a choice. I could wait until everything went smoothly, or I could just make the best of what I had in front of me. I am so glad I didn't miss my chance because things weren't as I wanted them to be.

I could have done none of this without Ali who gave me support and space in just the right amount and who believed in me. Thank you Ali.

Pam and Lizelle and everyone at Physio Plus have been amazing at patching me up and keeping me going. I really thought I'd no chance until Friday morning when Pam said I'd nothing to lose by just trying. How right she was. Thank you!

And I couldn't have picked a better place to make my debut. It was the friendliest, best organised event I have attended, set in the most stunning scenery. It was small - 363 folk went over the starting line and I came 353rd.  I liked the small scale, we were real people not numbers. It was running as I love to run - doing my own thing, running along through beautiful scenery, at my own pace, not running with elbows and MAMILs shoving me out of the way.  I could wear my iPod and sing along as I ran.  It was just like doing a really long run in a beautiful place, the lovely Loch and the magnificent Ben Nevis. And I got a medal, a wee bottle of whisky and food. What more can a girl want?

So it is done. My life will never be the same again. I've started thinking about what next. I quite fancy working on my 10k time for Race for Life and I want to do some walking and cycling with Ali. I haven't ruled out another marathon, but for now I'm just savouring the delicious delight of being a marathoner. I like the sound of that.

Good luck to everyone running London next week and Manchester's coming up soon. If you can possibly get to the starting line, do it. You never know what might happen. If your race turns out different to what you'd hoped, don't despair. Run the race you get, not the one you would have liked. That way you might just find you get further than you ever thought possible.

Mileage this week? 26.2. YES!!!!

Take care

Suex

Proceed until apprehended: Going to the wire

Well here I am, one week to go til the the Lochaber Marathon. It's been another roller coaster - can I run? can't I run? - kind of week. Less than 7 days to go and I'm still not sure.

The best news is that I know what the problem is, thanks to my Physio Pam. Something happened to a nerve in my mid back and it's triggered all kinds of mayhem in my hips. I've had a bad back now and then for years. It comes on when I'm stressed and sit too long on uncomfortable chairs.  Ironically, the last time I had it was in Barcelona (watching instead of running the marathon last year) when the airplane seats tipped me over the edge.

Not great news, but it does mean there's a chance I might run next week, so I'm not giving up just yet; hope, as they say, springs eternal. In that spirit I hit the treadmill on Friday morning before work.

I started slowly and focussed on the feedback I was getting. I made myself stretch every 2k. My legs felt heavy and my running style lumpen and leaden. Was that the outcome of my extreme tapering or nerve/muscle stuff?  I went into Chi Running mode and focussed on form and tried to run smoothly. Mentally this was great, it distracted me from the experience of pain and kept me feeling in control, but I couldn't find a way of influencing the pain through posture (which surprised me).   The pain came and went and moved around with no clear pattern; it certainly didn't get worse as I ran, but it didn't ease off either. Just as I thought things were settling down, it came back and kicked in hard. Stretching usually helped, but not always, sometimes it seemed to make it worse.

I realised pretty quickly that the pain itself wasn't the main problem; the real danger was that I would let the pain affect my form and I'd do some serious damage. I took myself back to me training with Nick last year and used the different Chi form focusses to make sure that no matter what the pain got up to, I was running right.

Having a proper diagnosis and knowing that I wasn't damaging my body helped a lot and gave me the chance to get into my running head again.  As the pain came and went and sometimes (worst of all) got stuck,  I remembered the early days of my training. When I started marathon training, I struggled with sore knees, ankle tendonitis and ITB strain until I got insoles to compensate for my gammy feet and lop sided pelvis.  Using my Chi thinking and through experience, I learnt not to freak out when I felt  pain but to go with it and see what happened. I learnt the value of relaxing my legs and running from the core and letting my body accommodate and adapt.  In those early days, I learnt to observe the pain and use my mind to keep me relaxed and focussed and my form to let me keep running. I'd been running so well and so free of pain in the latter part of my training that I'd forgotten how determined I'd been in those early days.

After the run, I felt fine and did loads of amazing yoga and Pilates thanks to Stacey, Richard & Kate at VirginActive gym. I've also caught up on Coronation Street and Prisoners Wives whilst rolling around on lumps of foam and sitting on tennis balls. Everything felt good, so this morning I was stiff but decided to try another run.

It wasn't too cold, but I wanted to give my muscles total care so I wore compression and thermal tights and headed off along the beach. It was so wonderful to run by the sea again. It was drizzly and cloudy but not busy (I avoided all dogs!). This time my running felt smooth and fluid. I felt my legs switch from feeling sleepy and lazy to starting to work properly, not surprising given my extreme tapering. The rain on my face, no wind (NO WIND!!!!), the sound of the waves, it was bliss. I felt great.

I went slowly and focussed on body-sensing. I was fine until about mile 4 when pain began to surface.  Stretching sorted out the butt pain, but it came back in the next muscle. I eventually worked out how to stretch that one, but by mile 5, it was getting seriously tight, too tight to run without limping so I stopped (one of my rules). I walked back briskly, the pain went if I pressed on the muscle but any running set it off again.  Gradually, the leg calmed down helped my heat, ice, stretching, rollering and Napier's miracle muscle rub (thank you Janice!).

So, I'm less confident today that I'll be up to 26.2 miles next Sunday, but I'm not giving up hope just yet.  I've been inspired by Facebook chats with Pam, Leah and Celina and the other Chi runners. We've been talking about how every run is a training run. That made me think that I could just see next Sunday's marathon as a training run, not for doing 26.2 miles, but for just starting a marathon.

I don't know what it's like to start a marathon; to line up, to keep a very slow pace and not be rushed by the excitement and other runners. I would learn an awful lot of useful stuff as prep for a marathon and no learning is ever ever wasted.  I might only manage 5 miles, but that wouldn't be the point of running.

Is it daft (or worse selfish) to even think of starting a marathon I almost certainly won't finish? Or would it be a wasted opportunity not to give it a try?

 I have my boundaries:

I won't run if Pam advises me not to, I run to be stronger and fitter not damaged and I'd miss my real runs - the ones on the beautiful beaches of East Lothian - if I got an injury.

I might run with pain as long as it's not damaging me. My experience on Friday showed me that pain and damage are not inextricably linked and then I read a great blog on pain and running by Tom Goom, which totally confirms my (very limited) experience on pain and running.

I won't run if it looks like I'll have to walk most of the way or take 6 hours. I want to run a marathon not walk one, walking 26.2 miles is not meaningful to me, plus I don't want to keep the marshals away from their tea! I'd sooner stop at 5 miles

You probably think I'm mad and I should just accept I'm not going to run and get over it. But I know it's not yet time for acceptance. I will not accept something's impossible when there is still hope, however faint. I plan to proceed until well and truly apprehended, chained and shackled. That's the only way to tackle the hard stuff and the only way that I will feel good about not running.  I'm pretty sure I can run 26.2 miles, I'm not sure I can do it next Sunday.

Clocked 10 miles this week (hooray!) and more yoga and pilates than you'd think humanly possible.

Hope you've all had good weeks and are running, walking, cycling, living happy and healthy.

Fingers crossed for next week....

Take care!

Suex

Delayed Onset Mental Stress:DOMS

It's been an interesting week since last Sunday's Meadows Half Marathon.  Physically I've been fine, but mentally I've had a bit of recovering to do. After the race  a corner of my brain was grumpy and disgruntled. I'd not enjoyed it and I'd been ages slower than the first time. A little voice kept whispering in my ear that Sunday was a big fat fail.  At the same time, there was another bit of me that was REALLY annoyed that I was even thinking the 'f' word when I had to focus on positive things and what I'd learnt. The inner dialogue chugged away.

Yes, I had a dose of  Doms - Delayed Onset Mental Stress.  It was like having a wee gremlin putting my positive thinking through a grinder and distracting me from important stuff.

As ever my lovely Twitter and FaceBook friends offered wise advice and helped me through. Running Lady Denise suggested I treat it as a training run - and she's exactly right. It was a training run; every run's a training run.  Colhun and Claire pointed out that running laps is mentally much more challenging and that I need to take the mental effort of lap running into account when I'm trying to make sense of my performance. And as Nick, Sharon and Alan from the Chi Runners reminded me (again!), running is not just about my legs; that's the easy bit. Running's as much about the head.

So just like an easy run can shake off the sore muscles, on Tuesday I did a run simply for pleasure to get a better running head on. I didn't think about pace or distance or even form. I went off along the beach and followed whatever path I fancied. It felt a bit like spring, so I took a new path into a bit of woodland behind the beach and just followed it round. What a delight. I found hosts of snowdrops and the earliest signs of daffodil shoots. Whose spirits don't lift at the hint of the spring flowers to come? And I found a steep path to the top of a small hill I didn't even know existed and ate my jelly babies looking at a wonderful view.

My legs were a bit heavy, but my heart and my head were light and I did 10 most enjoyable miles. I felt great; I was reconnected.

The usual middle distance run on the treadmill went fine and then it was time for my second 20 miler on Saturday. I like running Saturday mornings as the beach is a bit quieter, plus it was due to snow on Sunday.  This week, I'd practiced eating a pub meal the night before the run. I'm so glad I did.  The next morning, it took ages for my porridge to settle down, I felt stuffed. As Simon from Twitter said, in the morning of the run I don't need a big meal, I just need to top up. Eventually, I headed off into the wind and the rain with lots of positive mental attitude and looking forward to the challenge. This was excellent weather for developing my mental toughness and I welcomed it!

I have to say, though the weather was a tad inclement, I really enjoyed my run. Even though my skin was sticky with salt from the sea spray and the wind regularly stopped me in my tracks, and at times my thumbs went numb, it was great fun. The mud, very high tide and strong winds meant I did a bit more road running than usual, and for a chunk of the final 5 miles I was 'running' (in slow motion!) on the softest sand on the beach into headwinds; scrambling over rocks and dunes when the sea was as far in as it could go. But that's all great for the legs and it meant that as I ran back up to the house on a nice flat pavement, I speeded up.

So I finish the week on a high, feeling strong and positive.  I totalled just over 41 miles this week (gulp!). The Yoga and Pilates are keeping the muscles feeling good and I'm reaping the benefits of a regular sports massage. The end is in sight now but I still have some fuelling and kit issues.  I really need to get a better belt, one that will take all my bits. I'm not liking the ipod on the arm, it's too heavy. And I need to get a new strap for my Garmin as the old one's been rubbing. I have new Brooks shoes ready to break in for the big day - a day which is starting to feel very close....

Whatever you're up to, have a great week.

Take care

Suex

20 Miles. 1 milestone.

For every one of us, no matter where we are on our running journey - or any other path we travel in life - there are milestones, there are setbacks and there are lots of lessons to be learnt.

Yesterday I hit a big milestone, may have created a setback and learnt lots of lessons.

I ran 20 miles - my first ever run that long and that far.  I have to make myself stop and appreciate the significance of what I did and take it in. Psychologically, it's a massive boost: I know now I have a marathon in me. On the downside, running that 20 miles may have been a really stupid thing to do and might have cost me Lochaber.

I was fixed on the 20 miles after my run last week. I decided to go early Saturday morning before meeting a dear friend for lunch so I could fit everything in.  I made sure I fuelled up the night before and got up early to eat my porridge. Running on low fuel the other Saturday was a deeply unpleasant experience, I felt un prepared and un focussed and that knocked my confidence. That was one lesson I'd learnt.

But I've lots more to learn and it started before I had even left the house. I may have got my tummy sorted, but I hadn't got all my gear arranged, so I had a  dithery time changing socks and finding my insoles and being generally indecisive. I'm not at my best in the morning and that makes it even more important that I prepare in good time.

As I left the house a few snowflakes fell but it was bright and sunny and I set off at a nice slow pace and settled into the run.  Two minutes after making the beach I slipped and went over on my ankle. I heard a tearing sound. I froze. I cried out in disbelief. Less than a mile into my first 20, fresh and fuelled; and I'd broken my foot (yes I have a tendency to catastrophic thinking!).  But there was no pain when I did it or when I put my foot down so I tentatively started off running. It felt fine. I realised though that mentally I'd not been concentrating, I'd been distracted by an upset I'd had the day before.  It isn't just my kit that I need to get prepared in advance of a long run. Lesson number 2!

It was cold out, but there was very little wind and the sun shone. At that time on a Saturday, the beach is almost empty - just how I like it. Gradually I got into the zone. As I've started doing more and longer runs (especially on the treadmill), I've noticed my brain switches into 'long run mode' and I focus on staying relaxed and letting my body and mind settle in for the duration. It's a wonderful sense of calm and it makes all the difference to the long runs.

I headed up beyond YellowCraigs as usual and then cut back through Dirleton to Gullane via Archerfield. I went along the beach path until it got too muddy and then I headed down towards Aberlady and back more or less the same route.

It was my first go using Lucozade Sport which is the drink available at the Lochaber Marathon and I took the usual jelly babies and a couple of SIS Gels (with caffeine!).  I started fuelling at 30 minutes to keep me mentally and physically on track. I have to say that the Lucozade is horrendously sweet and sticky and generally yuk, but it really did the trick in keeping me feeling fuelled. I took the SIS gels at about 9 and 15 miles (not as horrid as some of the gels I've tried) and jelly babies (yum!) when I needed a little something special and that worked great. I didn't feel starving or weak at any point at all and that made me feel confident and strong. I finished with my muscles on fine form, despite the dodgy ankle and amazingly, I have no muscle aches today.

My foot was fine until about 14 miles when it started to ache a bit but it wasn't painful, so I just slowed down and went carefully. But I made the mistake of coming back along the beach right at the end of the run and a couple of times my (now rather tired) ankle went over and that did hurt.

I got home in one piece, stretched, drank my chocolate power drink, showered, iced and headed out for a most enjoyable (and guilt free) lunch with my chum.  My foot's a bit stiff today and I've a big bruise so I've been doing serious resting and ricing. I've been googling sprained ankles and I might be off my feet for a week or two. But I won't start worrying til I've seen the physio next week.

So, I've hit a milestone but I've paid a price. But I'm ok. It was a simple accident and these things happen. Despite the setback, I now have confidence that I can run a marathon.  Apart from my foot, I don't ache and it's not the end of the world if I have to take a wee running rest after ramping up the distance over the last few weeks.  If I am fit for April, I may have to strap up and walk/run. At worst, I may have to run later in the year. This is just a set back not a derailment. For the moment, I can only wait to know when and how I run, but I know I will and that feels good.

Running  stats this week: a total of 37.5 miles over 3 runs and got my tempo and mid distance speeds up nicely.  1 Pilates and 1 Yoga session and a great pre-long-run massage from Liselle. After yesterday I'm wondering if a pre run massage has at least as much value as a post run massage, my muscles felt great and I had hardly any niggles over the whole run.  So I'm ready to rock - as soon as this pesky ankle is sorted.

Hope you're all having great runs/walks/reads/cycles.

Take care

Suex

sole survivor

Yes! Yes! Yes! They work! My new insoles work!

I'm now in week two of running with my new insoles and I can't believe the change.

As is my way, I started off with some caution; trepidatious about what was going to happen.  My shoes felt full of feet and I could feel that my balance had shifted even as I walked towards the treadmill, carrying the original insoles with me in case it all ended in tears.

The first few steps felt very strange indeed. Some bits felt light and floaty, others protested about having to work harder than usual. Things twanged, shuggled and moved about, but before too long, it felt great. Suddenly I was focussed on running, not worrying about what bit of me I was at risk of damaging. I was just running normally and it felt good. Nothing hurt in a worrying sort of way and I could feel my body adapting bit by bit.  I gradually speeded up and increased the mileage and used them in other shoes and even used them on my longest run ever and ..... it was fine.

When I finished my run, I felt better than I've done for ages and what was even better, the next day nothing hurt.Well that's not quite true, my knee was still a bit sore, but it responded well to some applied thumb pressure. The other thing that hurt was my muscles! For the first time in ages, I had some muscle tiredness after my tempo run because I ran a little bit faster for a little bit longer. I'm actively looking forward to getting DOMS! Bloody luxury!

All the insoles do is fill the space between where my heel is and where it should be, plus they're extra cushioned to reduce the impact all that running has on my big toe joint.  It's amazing what a difference that couple of millimetre heel lift makes, it brings my body back into balance so it can work properly. I guess pounding the streets when you're out of kilter is bound to strain things as your muscles, tendons etc all struggle to keep everything together.

So my goals these last 2 weeks were to get used to the insoles, keep my right knee under control and get that long run up.  Week 1 I kept things steady, so my mileage only went up by 1/2 mile to 30.5 miles but I did my first 15 miles in one go (just under 3 hours - slow but I know I can speed up). I had no knee problems at all.  Week 2, I added a bit of speed and a bit of distance - up to 33 and a bit miles. I did another 15 miler (very slow, hard work and not fun as I did it at 9 am without fuelling properly - a mistake I won;t do again). At the end of these 2 weeks, things hurt a bit more and my knee is a bit niggly but not sore going up and down stairs. I'm seeing Pam to check on my progress with the insoles so I'll see what she says.

So, I'm still running and still sticking to that schedule. I can't quite imagine I can run 26.2 miles, but I'm so happy to be running with both feet firmly on the ground.  That tiny adjustment has made a tremendous difference already; if I can curb my exuberance then I really hope I can keep on track.
  Next week I'm planning to up the long run, but keep the weekly mileage more or less the same and slow the speed right down, take the pressure off a bit.

I hope you're running or pedalling strong and enjoying the bit of extra daylight we're getting. Not long before I'll be joining the #4.44 club again I hope!

Take care

Suex

The Joy of Socks

My running hopes have been saved. So today I want to heap praise and gratitude on the Cinderella of the running world - the humble sock.

So often the sock is the subject of fun and mockery for being smelly, worn out or embarrassingly visible.  I too have heaped derision on the sock. Yet socks are indeed the foundation of good running for many of us.

I have history with socks; they remind me of my Dad whose socks were a regular topic in our house.  Every year, Santa left our Christmas pressies in one of Dad's (washed, Headingly Rugby Club) socks. As a little girl I had a kiddy-type speech impediment and pronounced socks as 'thocks' (said in a juicy fruity spray-y way).   I was very insistent about my pronunciation and my Dad never let me forget it and teased me mercilessly. Even today if you say 'thocks' to Mum she remembers the joke, she beams with happy memories and memories are a rare gift indeed for her.

Later on in life, the sock theme reappeared. My gone but never forgotten monster cat Kyle had a big thing about socks. In his younger years he used to steal socks from nearby washing lines and bring them home for me proud as Punch.  Kyle stopped his stealing when we moved to North Berwick (it's not that kind of place) - but he remained partial to Ali's socks if he could get his paws on them. Just a week before he shuffled off to the great litter tray in the sky, Kyle had placed one of Ali's socks in the middle of the kitchen for me - a token of his love.

Socks loomed large when I was cycling and again when I got into running, and as I really got into running, things began to change.

My first running socks were my cycling socks. Then as I ran a bit more, I started to worry about blisters, so I got 1000 mile socks (they are good!) and those brilliant twin skin Hilly socks.

My first summer of running, I had to think about what length of socks to wear - all that running on the beach meant sand got into my shoes when I wore short sockettes giving me awful  blisters which took ages to heal. So I got long socks to keep the sand out; I got over wearing knee length socks for the first time since second year at school.  My sock collection was beginning to get serious and my horizons widened further.

Next came the injury, and yes there were more sock-related consequences. After doing my calf in I got seriously into compression socks as the sock of choice, I really liked the way they made my legs feel all wrapped up safely.

That was followed by a too brief but very enjoyable sock free period when I got into barefoot running. I am by nature a non- sock wearer, I love to feel the earth under my feet, but dear reader, as Borgen's husband says: 'sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do' and the socks had to come back.

My deformed feet mean I have to work extra hard to run and they don't absorb impact properly, so I can't run barefoot (at least whilst training for my marathon).  To work round my limitations, I have to minimise the physical impact of running on my body. It's basically the same stuff you do to avoid shin splints - wear cushioned shoes; run on soft surfaces, take rest days.

All has been hunky dory with the new regime, but I had a few niggles now and then. I analysed my training diary for an answer.  When it was cold I had fewer niggles. Hmm, usually it goes the other way. It wasn't speed, it wasn't route, it wasn't shoes. Then I twigged. When it got cold I wore my lovely thick padded winter socks and of course they absorb more impact than thin or even compression socks. I tried it out and the difference was indeed remarkable. The best socks I've found so far are Falke, but I'd be very interested to get some ideas from other runners.

Whilst I love the freedom of the barefoot, I also love my big cuddly padded socks, and so do my toes. It's much less of a sacrifice as the ice and snow set in up here! Wearing padded socks is like wearing one of those lovely comfy duvet coats round my feet and they snuggle in comfortably for a long run. On a very long run I might get a bit of a twinge, but every time I go out, it comes  on later, hurts less and goes away faster.  The positive effect of padded socks is cumulative.

This week I've had some good sessions, just made the most of any opportunity to get some miles and fitness into the pot before it snows.  I've done 25 miles running - my long run a 12 miles on the beach. I found a way of mixing trail and beach to get a bit further.  I've also done  a couple of spinning classes, lots of stretch and a body pump to get those muscles firing.  Also started trying out gels and thinking about fuelling and recovery.

Some niggles in my right knee, but Pam at Physio Plus has given me exercises and stretches. I had a soothing bath and used Napier's massage relaxing oil after my long run today and that's worked wonders, so no new bathroom until after the marathon!

Wherever you are, have a good week. The snow is making an appearance here, so I'm off to find my yak tracks!

Take care

Suex

New Year Resolutions

Hello and a Happy New Year! Have you all got your plans to change your life and be better human beings? Have you set your targets and goals for the year ahead?

Now I don't know about you, but I don't work like that, I don't sit down and plan things. I much prefer to see what comes up and seize opportunities I haven't even thought of yet.  On planet Sue an idea bubbles up from somewhere deep inside and my head eventually catches up with what the rest of me has already worked out.

Despite all the busy-ness and running about for Christmas and New Year, it's a great time for new ideas and new ways of looking at things. A week or so away from the desk enjoying the company of friends and family, walking, running, playing with the cats, cooking and wrapping presents is just what I need to get my sense of perspective back.

A few New Years ago we decided to lose weight. We were out for a long walk on the beach and an idea that had been hovering round for months and months became a decision - a commitment to change our lives. I got home and signed us up; 6 months later I was 4 stone lighter.  The next year, I registered for a half marathon. That came from a conversation with the Tesco Diets people earlier in the year about how I'd always admired people who ran marathons, but I'd never thought I could do it. A few months later, round about Christmas, I signed up for a half marathon and started training.  I did the half and at the end of 2011 I decided I was going to try and run that marathon.  I didn't make the starting line last year, but I learnt an awful lot of useful stuff about me and running: of course it's the journey that matters not the arriving.

All of these decisions have been life changing and enriched my life immeasurably, in ways I could never have anticipated. I've had experiences I'll never forget.

Once again, the end of the year has worked its magic and I have my goals. The first is to keep trying to run a marathon.  I've signed up for the  Lochaber Marathon in April, with the Meadows half en route. Last year was a learning year, so I go equipped with a much clearer understanding of my personal challenge and with the expert advice from my ace Physio Pam to help me get there. Fingers are crossed.

I've a non running resolution too. Holidays mean time to read and my Christmas Book this year was  A Street Cat Named Bob.  It's a very simple, very powerful story about how friendships change our lives, even when those lives have gone sadly awry.  James lived on the streets when he met Bob the street cat. Having another living being to care for and that cared for him gave James Bowen's life real meaning and filled the lonely spaces. It really isn't relevant that Bob is a cat, or that the relationship involves more than the usual number of legs.

So there I was, snuggled up in a warm bed with a good book, a cup of tea and the wind howling outside. A bubble began to emerge and I had a resolution -  to buy the Big Issue every week not just now and then. My first thought that it wasn't big enough, I needed something grander. But of course  the longest journey starts with the smallest step and as I let that idea grow, I realised it's about making connections.

When we're busy, it's so easy to lose sight of what really matters as we charge about trying to get through our over-long 'to-do' lists.  We tend to focus on the practical. When I was caring for Mum, I had to focus on keeping her physically safe. Now she's at the Abbey, others do that, and I can focus on Mum's quality of life, helping her stay connected to family and friends. The worst thing about Alzheimer's is that it disconnects Mum from the world in almost every way you can think of, and that's a sad and scary place to be. But between us all, her family, the Abbey, the Day Centre and Crossroads, Mum now has real friends, lots of connections and lots of people who care for her. She's blossoming, and as  Mum puts it, she's 'living not existing'. That's because she has relationships that are warm and caring; something we all need and we can all give.

So I have two plans for 2012 - to tackle that marathon and be a better human being. That should keep me busy!

On the running front, I've done 2 runs (15 miles total) and 4 gym sessions this week and one Pentland hill walk. I'm going to run three times a week, with spin, swim, cross train sessions to build stamina and lots and lots of stretching.  Wish me luck!

I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas and New Year and that all your hopes and wishes for 2013 come true.

Take care!

Suex

Barcelona 2012: cheering from the sidelines

Who could ever turn down a weekend with your loved one in one of your favourite cities in the world in perfect spring weather? Not me!  I had some minor reservations about going to Barcelona, but life is short and holidays are precious, so off we went.  Barcelona did not disappoint, how could it?  It is a truly magnificent city and what a setting for a marathon. Wow.

We'd picked a lovely hotel within walking distance of the race start and finish.  The day of what should have been my first marathon, dawned bright and sunny.  We woke to the universal sound of the pre race DJ getting everyone psyched up and ready to trot. I could feel my legs wanting to get out there and warm up too!  But my brain went numb, I suddenly was very indecisive - should I go and watch or just pretend it wasn't happening and get on with the day? Luckily,  Ali took control and we headed off to watch.  I'm, so glad I did.

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The start was magnificent. The totally over the top fountains were on full blast, ticker- tape flew everywhere and the place was thronged. The runners, like always, were every shape and size imaginable and came from all over the world. The start was emotional: everyone full of hope, determination and courage for the miles ahead. Some runners looked strong and sure; others looked like they were seriously going to struggle to manage 5K never mind a marathon. An older woman with a grey pony tail; the nut brown man in what looked suspiciously like speedos, the guy running with the racing buggy. I wanted to shout out that I should be with them, that I was one of them, but I didn't.

For the first time, I saw the end of the start of a marathon. I was amazed how many people came late and had to run to catch up. I'd just assumed that everyone arrived on time and if you got there late, tough! It might have been the clock change that did it - the clocks went forward that morning.  I was also surprised to see quite a few obviously injured runners crossing the start line, obviously in pain before they'd even started their marathon. I don't know if any of the hobblers made it. I hope whatever happened they are okay. I was glad I wasn't running. My leg hurt just walking, my hamstring was stuck in a massive nippy knot and my toe throbbed. Any delusions I had about running were gone and I felt at peace as they headed off.

A moment's reflection as I watched the runners disappear into the city; a curative hug from Ali and then off for breakfast. We took the metro and headed to the beach. It was mobbed with spectators heading to cheer on loved ones at the next stop down the line. I have never seen so much lycra, everyone was a runner that day many bedecked in other marathon T shirts, worn with pride, signalling they were bona fide members of the marathoner club. There were even one or two folk with Barcelona Marathon running numbers on the Metro train.  One guy tucked in the corner was carefully hiding his number under his jacket. Surely no one would nip onto the metro rather than run 26.2 miles?????

The beach area of Barcelona is amazing. It was regenerated for the Olympics and is now a fantastic open gym and activity area. Walkers, strollers, cyclists, roller bladders, runners, joggers, dog walkers, uni cyclers, nordic stick walkers, skateboarders, scooter riders - you name it, folk were out doing it.  All day long a mass of people make their way up and down the flat walkway that goes for miles along the beachfront. On the beach itself children and adults played volley ball and football and ran about. I saw my first (and I hope, my last) naked jogger. (Male if you must know and not in the first flush of his youth - no David Beckham I'm afraid).  It makes you realise that if you give people good healthy spaces they will get out and use them - good weather helps! Mind you, there were an awful lot of folk smoking which is a real downside to going to Spain sadly.

About half way along we saw the runners and the 3.45 pacer in the distance and went to watch. They looked strong and were running well despite a number of heavily lycra-d cyclists and tourists getting in the way. But the police did a great job of keeping things manageable and the locals wove across the road quickly and easily with scarcely a ripple. 

The rest of the day we could see the runners over there somewhere.  The later runners moved me most. The ones that find the marathon challenge really hard, that run for hours and hours, but still they keep going. Not to take away from the fast finishers, but I admire the guts and persistence of people who were still keeping on hours after the leaders were home and dry, that's guts and commitment.

That night we saw marathoners everywhere, many still in their tops and medals. The next morning, they were even more noticeable - loads of fellow breakfast eaters had developed a hobble since the previous morning and the breakfast buffet was annihilated by carb hungry runners.  Everywhere we went we saw Barcelona Marathon tee shirts and medals.

Watching as an injured runner was a bit weird, but I'm glad we did it. It was good to watch a marathon and think one day I'll do this. I'd never watched a marathon in real life since I've started running. The chance to stand back and watch with a rather more informed eye was useful. It's scary, it goes on for a long time, there's lots of people. Yup watching that run brought home to me what a challenge those 26.2 miles are.  The other thing I really appreciated was how much we rely on our loved ones to bear with us and support us. They give up their holidays, stand and watch folk running instead of going to art galleries (I think that counts as a plus myself). They listen to us prattling on about pacers and carb loading and all the rest of it!

So this is the sight I never saw (even if you imagine about 15K runners in front of me!). I have no regrets at watching instead of running and as I said, my leg was badly crocked so I could't have done it anyway. As it turned out, it wasn't my calf, I'd done my back in somehow travelling and had a trapped nerve. The physio sorted me and all is now working again, though a bit sore. Also I'm not sure an overseas marathon is the ideal first marathon for me, though the thought of carb loading and post marathon feasting in a city with such great food is very tempting!  I think it's going to be Edinburgh next year. Maybe. Not decided yet.

I got home to North Berwick with very happy memories of a lovely holiday in a fabulous city; a bit of a tan, a lot of ironing and a new found respect for the challenge of taking on that marathon and those that try.

We were very sad to see that Barcelona was a very different place later on that week, they are a lovely people and were so helpful and friendly. I hope it all gets resolved soon.

Whatever you're up to, have a great time. Even if things don't go quite to plan, they usually work out in the end!

Take care

Suex

No Regrets: Walking Barcelona

Well, I'm packing for a trip to Spain planned in the cold nights of November last year when I was full of hope and excitement at the thought of running my first marathon. But as you all know, things didn't quite work out that way. The Barcelona Marathon is almost here, but I won't be running it, I'll be watching and cheering others on.

I'm a bit sad.  I have a niggling feeling that I've missed my chance and may never run a marathon. Maybe I should have pushed through the injury and gone for it and worried about the damage afterwards. But, it's only a niggle, like a twinge that comes up a third of the way into a long run and then just pops gently like a bubble and is gone. It's not the deep sadness of regret or the pain of loss of hope or the agony of never being able to run again. No it's more a 'well it wasn't meant to be, this was not my time' sort of feeling - and life is full of those isn't it?

As I did my run round North Berwick this morning, I didn't feel sad. I felt happy - no more than that, I felt joyful. It was one of those runs where you know you're the luckiest person in the entire world.  The weather was sunny and warm, the tide was out, the mist drawing off the Bass Rock. I headed off with Chi running on the i pod, my metronome ticking away at 180bpm and Nick's feedback in mind. Everything was in good working order.

I did one of my favourite runs, up to Yellow Craigs beach and back. It's a nice mix of track and beach with the most fantastic views. I did just under 7 miles in total, with a 15 minute form session in the middle where I ran up and down the beach and worked on my footprints.  Given I'd run a couple of miles, I was really pleased with my form. Even in shoes, my footprints were so much lighter and more even than they were two weeks ago, though I can see clearly (even with my shoes on) that I need to sort my right big toe and I still have a way to go to be light! Here's a snap of my footprints next to another runner's - quite a difference. Mine originally were deeper than theirs with a much clearer heel strike. You can see where their toes grip the sand.

I was out for about an hour and a quarter in total and was pleasantly surprised by my pace and distance. I wanted to run longer but I am mindful of the need not to push my luck. I am very disciplined when it comes to doing something and going beyond the call etc, but I am rubbish at not doing things.  They say that self discipline is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets, so I gave myself another dose by walking up the hills - even though I was in full view of two local runners and was sorely tempted to look good. The internal dialogue was a bit frenzied as my inner coach gave me quite a talking to, but I did walk; I have to learn to value the discipline of not acting - does that make sense?

I got home feeling good. My quads were fresh, my calves were totally unruffled. My big toe and soleus were the bits I felt most. When I was hobbling, they really took the strain and I need to get them sorted. I suspect they're compensating for something and my money's on a too tight hamstring which I really noticed in yoga last week. I might try a podiatrist, never been to one of those.

So, I'm heading south. My suitcase is lycra free (well almost!); no garmin, running shoes, gels. Just sandals and suncream and guidebooks. I will I think shed a tear when the runners head off on Sunday, but I know that when my time comes, I will do those 26.2 miles as a much stronger and safer runner.

Whether you're running, racing, supporting, watching, be safe and be well.

Take care

Suex

Barefoot on the beach

What a totally beautiful time of year this is, a time when things are new and life is opening up into longer, warmer days. Being outside gets to be a real pleasure for me. I know us runners are supposed to revel in bad weather and endurance, but I have a south american soul which loves warmth, brightness and sunlight. Spring has finally arrived north of the border and it feels great.

This is perfect timing as I'm having my very own running spring just now. After the cold dark winter of my injury, I am bursting forth into the sun and starting to run again. Like a daffodil, the flower of my new running is emerging into the daylight, drawing on what I've built up during my hibernation. (enough of the flowers already - Ed).

Since my Chi Running session last week with Nick; things have really started shifting.  At first nothing much happened, but I gradually noticed my attention shifting towards the need to get things into balance.  Everywhere I went I've been having conversations about how we all pay most attention to the things we think matter most, so it's important to get that focus right.  I'd focussed on speed and getting things done, that needs to change, I need to focus on getting balance in my life if I'm going to keep all those plates up in the air.

Another good reason and trigger for reflection is that I'm having (yet another) transition period as I shift jobs, Mum's needs ratchet up a notch and my marathon plan bites the dust. I feel very squeezed and time-poor, which I guess like most of us, I am. But of course this is just the time to make other changes and adjustments and that's what I've been doing.

Over the last week, I have made some important changes. First, I've pulled out of all my planned races this year. My running goals and drive have to come from within me, not set by my ambitious head driving me on to do it and do it now.  That's what got me injured and I will be injured again sooner or later if I let me head control my running.  

Second, I am going to train for a marathon and that is going to be the goal of my running recovery. In the last year, I've done a sub 2 hour half marathon, a sub 25 5k and a sub 60m 10k. I could shave a few minutes off these and go for personal bests, but I still want that marathon.  I don't know where, I don't know when, but I am going to run a marathon to the best of my ability at just the right time and that is next on my running to do list. Doing that marathon and doing it in good form, good time and with a big smile is going to be my one and only running focus. 

I now have a clear goal, one that I can actually live with, and my weekly training regime is taking shape. The focus is on getting a balanced fitness regime that will give me what I want from exercise and enable me to focus my running on improving my form. 

• Spin to get the cardio and all that jazz working well (and to satiate my need to work to the max to very loud music!); 
• Yoga and Pilates to keep me in touch with my body and how it's working and keep those muscles, joints, sinews and tendons in good shape; 
• Barefoot beach running to improve and build my running technique 
• 'Long Run' where I try and maintain my form over longer distances/times (and learn to run without an i pod and get to run round East Lothian!)

I like the balance and the mix, I need variety and to be frank running safely will not satisfy me. Spin, not running, will give me speed and a serious quad and cardio workout.  Yoga and Pilates will help me keep track of how my body is handling things and how well balanced I am physically. Allocating time to form and time will help me balance the running. The date and time of my marathon will become clear. My speed will increase as I learn to run safely. I will race when I am ready. All will happen in due course as my running self gets ready and in the meantime I have taken the pressure off. 

There's a lovely story in Chi Running about focus.  The way that cats pick their prey and focus their whole attention on it. Their eyes fix on the target, behind them, their heads, their body, their movement, everything follows the focus of their eyes on the goal, the thing they want more than anything. In this case dinner!  That marathon is my goal and my journey will be to get my attention, body, movement focussed on getting there.

When I started my marathon training just before Christmas, I said I wanted to run a marathon but not at the cost of other things in my life. I should have added nor at the cost to my health and well being. It's so easy to forget to add yourself to the list of things to care about isn't it? Well I'm on the list now.

So, here's my sessions this week. Gym and swim; spin class; 45 minute 'long' run; yoga; 3mile beach walk and 30 minutes beach form training. 1 rest day. 

Wherever you are, whatever your goals, good luck in reaching them. But even more importantly, may you find reward and happiness on the way.

Take care

Suex

I Ran. #thatisall

Well finally, here it is,  the blog I've been dying to write for 6 weeks 6 days and 16 hours.

I  RAN!

A massive thank you to all my running and non running chums who have kept me going over the last few weeks. I hope I never ever have to return the favour.

It was short - 6.21 minutes of walking and running, but boy was it sweet. Pam the physio got me all sorted and we went for a trot by the beach.

Like learning to walk, those first running steps were amazing, dizzy, emotional. This was a run I have appreciated more than any other I've done, and I will remember I think forever.

It felt very strange at first, like my body didn't know what to do. My feet were flat, my legs were stiff and I was very very unsure it would work.  But then everything started moving and I knew it was going to be okay. What was brilliant that I had a little try at Chi running and .... it works! I've been thinking about it and listening to it for a few weeks and even though only had a little go, I could feel the difference.

I am going to enjoy the return to running. I am going to savour the gradual build up like drinking a very fine wine or a gourmet meal.  Every step, every second is going to be experienced and enjoyed. I will be slow and focussed and strong. I will remember how lucky I am to be able to do it.

I have as long as I want to do build up the speed and distance and that feels good. I am so glad I'm not rushing to do a marathon. My calf muscle will be my guide back to my running form and I will forever remember it when I run. I plan to check in regularly and see how me and that calf muscle are doing.  I will think of a name for it. Rowena suggested a tattoo, I think it might be a mental one!

For now I just want to run forever and never ever be injured again. I don't care if I run a marathon. I am a grateful humble runner. If I can stay like this I will be fine.

The wait is over. I ran. I run.  I am.

Take care, run safe.

Suex

Into the starting blocks

The end is nigh. I am, I sincerely hope, now in the final week of not running. What a relief - for us all I'm sure. You must be as fed up of this as I am!

For all but the first week of the injury I've kept up my exercise routine. At the core have been physio, upper body conditioning and Pilates, gradually built up as my poorly leg could take it. Good for keeping some muscle tone and discipline,  great for staying positive, feeling like an athlete and keeping in touch with the healing process.

This week I got back to the gym - hooray! I got a lovely welcome back from Kevin at Virgin Omni and it was great to be back despite the usual busy-ness of the gym this time of year. I know people complain about gyms, but the joy of being able to exercise again beats all. I'd have made do with a massive hamster wheel if it meant I could run.   There's a machine for everything even for the crocked runner.

My first triathlon - 10 minutes on the bike; 10 minutes on the cross trainer and 10 lengths of the pool. No resistance, very slow, very gradual. Savouring the movement of my limbs and paying close attention to the messages from the muscles - testing, trying. There were as many complaints and grumbles from my non injured leg which rightly feels it deserves a rest after the last 6 weeks of keeping the show on the road.

As my non-running draws to an end, I'm coming to the end of my first reading of Chi Running. A phased running recovery will fit well with the transition to chi running - physically and mentally. I've tried Chi walking and it's helping a lot. Relaxing my lower leg helped me stop limping and start to balance the legs again.

Recovery has forced me to slow down and think about what I'm doing. It also makes me pay close attention to my body and what it's telling me. That damaged muscle lets me know how it's reacting and I am actively listening. A nip slows me down very effectively and that enables me to correct my posture too.

If you'd asked me before I would have said of course I'm listening to my body. I heard nips and niggles, but I wasn't focussed enough on how my body was reacting - not like I am now.  My head knew I was running too fast, but I wasn't getting feedback from the bit of me that does the hard work. I want to keep the focus in future so that as I recover physically I don't just speed up and do it all again.

I plan to treat myself to some new ultra light Brooks. I am going to include barefoot beach walks and runs in my training and I will be running with Danny on the iPod. Cross training is back in, it worked well before and I will continue my core Pilates and yoga.

The external pressures on me to run are removed.  Recovery will dictate my running until I'm back to normal. I will run that marathon when I'm ready, not when I can fit it in with everything else.  I know I can do it, I just don't know when yet.  You know things are bad when they're a learning experience, and this certainly has been an education, but it will soon be history.

Soon I will be off running again. I can't wait to get my legs and buns of steel back - my legs are so soft that the cats have taken to sitting on my lap again.

Friday, I'm back in the race. Today I'm hunkered in the blocks ready to go. No false starts.  Cue the snow!

Happy running!

Take care

suex