And then a miracle happened...

Recovery Week 2 is now complete. Hooray! Three runs done of 4 minute running and 1-2 minutes walking. It's been a great week for beach running - lovely weather, not too much wind and tide times fitting my schedule. It's been an incredible contrast with the freezing wind and rain of my training runs.

Of course I'm delighted to be running again, it's fabulous. But if I'm honest it's been a hard slog even though I've not run for more than 4 minutes at a time and only hit 2.5 miles today. Every run I've wondered how I ever managed to do 26.2 miles when I haven't even got to 2.6 miles yet, yes it's been tough. But of course runners know to trust the process and the wisdom of our bodies, so I just got on with doing the running bit and waited for the usual miracle to happen.

The miracle came this morning.  Saturday morning runs send a tingle down my spine. During marathon training Saturday was the day I did my long run - my favourite run of the week. On a Saturday I could run as long as I wanted, no time limits, no desk to get back to, just the trail ahead of me. It's like being a kid and being allowed to play out all day. So early this morning I left the house with a lovely warm

glow from previous Saturday mornings at the back of my sleepy head.

The beach was empty for almost the entire run. The beach was mine, all mine. Running along an empty beach is like you own the whole world for 30 glorious minutes.  I headed off as usual, checking my garmin for my 4 minute intervals, listening to the sound of the waves and the seabirds.

Because it was a Saturday I allowed myself an extra interval, plenty of time to rest as I can't run again for at least 3 days.  As I hit the big stretch of beach between North Berwick and Gullane, the empty beach rolled out ahead of me and my own footprints behind me.  Something clicked inside; my legs eased into running gear, my breathing slowed and I just relaxed. I felt like a runner again.

As I ran  I remembered how even at my fittest, I often found those first two miles bloody hard going.  I'd put the struggle down to my slow recovery, but I'd forgotten that I nearly always have to grit my teeth for the first couple of miles even at my 'peak'. My heart lifted, my stride lengthened. As I started my last 4 minute interval I checked my time on the garmin and for the first time in my recovery runs, looked at my pace. I had to smile at the return of my speed obsession but I was pleased that I hadn't even thought of speed until now.

So a great recovery week, more recovery of the heart and the spirit than the legs! Though of course technically, this is not about recovery - I'm not going back to how I was, I am going somewhere new, somewhere better.  But the discipline of recovery has been critical; it's made me slow down and this has given me time to learn and reflect. If I'd done my usual dash to get back to form, I'd have missed some important stuff. Sometimes in running you need to slow down and let the sound of the waves carry you.

Have a great week, run safe and run strong!

Take care

Suex

On the hoof.....

Well, the mystery is finally solved. Almost a year to the day since my calf went ping I have an explanation for what happened, and cleared up a few other running mysteries besides.

Quick recap: I''d stopped running after a worrying niggle in my shin and sore feet. Something wasnae right. My physio Pam referred me to Donna the podiatrist who said I needed a biomechanical assessment. So I went off to see Pam at the Abbey Hill Footcare Clinic.  Pam got out her rulers and measuring things and put me through my paces. I love to see good diagnostic skills at work and Pam's are truly awesome. I was fascinated as she tested out different hypotheses about what was going on and held onto every word as a picture began to take shape - Sherlock Holmes had better watch out.

The punchline is I have  'forefoot equinnus' in both my feet and I've had it my entire life.  Those of you of a classical or scientific bent will immediately discern that I am a horse.  Well not quite, but  like a horse, my hoof is naturally in a toe-down position with my heel off the ground. It's something to do with having deformed metatarsals and it can't be corrected or aligned, it has to be accommodated. So when I run I take a lot of pressure on the fore foot which the foot can't absorb properly because it's an odd shape.  Having equinnus foot basically means I am permanently running up hill. Here's a drawing.

As one writer says 'it is like having a built-in doorstop pushing you backwards and jamming your knee backwards.' Equinnus can cause calf strain and achilles, hip and piriformis problems as the body adapts.  You would shudder to know at the amount of treatment I've had over many years to sort out hip and lower back pain - and it was probably all related to my feet.

I now know that this is why I prefer to walk round the house on tip toes - (I'm a toe walker apparently, it sounds quite exotic doesn't it?). I thought it was because we lived in houses with noisy floors and I was embarrassed to thump about. Now I know why hills are such a struggle, why I trip up and why I can't stand up for long periods - those youthful demos were hell. 

The great news is that it doesn't stop me running, I just have to learn to work with my horses feet and adapt accordingly.  

 Pam advised me to go back to cushioned (neutral) running shoes to reduce the impact that my odd foot shape has to absorb. No more barefoot running, no more minimalist shoes. No more cute little pumps with no foot support and back to shoes with a small heel.  I have to make sure that I have the laces done the right way to take the pressure off the arch (ignoring helpful sales assistants with great ideas).  I just need to factor in the hoof shape and reduce the impact on my feet as much as possible.

So I'm back on the Brooks and my most cushioned hilly socks with as much compression as I can decently get away with in public. I'm building up the runs gradually and so far so good, everything is calming down. Ten good miles so far this week and feeling fine, and secretly enjoying the lashing wind and rain. The sea has been amazing if somewhat destructive.

Equinnus foot is not rare, so if you have a very high instep and a history of unexplained injuries, it might be worth checking it out. I found Physio Blogger's website helpful. 

I can't believe I've got so far through my life without knowing this. What's interesting is  that it's the Chi Running that helped me solve the mystery.  Along with the minimalist shoes, Chi running meant that I ran naturally and so the right bits hurt.  Because I was paying attention, I got things sorted without causing too much damage on the way.  

So I'm back running on the beach and loving it. Looking forward to some good running in between the celebrations - if I can drag myself away from the boys! Here they are giving me a bit of help with the ironing

I hope you're all setting up for a lovely festive season full of all the things that make you and yours happy.  Take care and have a great time!

Suex

Running from the heart

There are times when running is not about speed, distance, time, pace, intervals or even calories.

There are times when running is not about calves, quads or glutes.
There are times when running is only about one thing: being alive.
That's when you exercise the most important running muscle of all - when you run from from the heart.


The middle years of life are not what I'd expected. I'm much busier and I have more responsibilities than I'd expected, but that's fine, who wants to lie in til lunchtime anyway!  What makes the middle years a weird experience is that you're youthful and old at exactly the same time, equidistant between the cradle and the grave and both can seem equally clear at times. In the middle years, you're acutely aware that life is brief and precious and to be made the very most of. I understand the urge behind those mid life crises - do it now before you get too old!

Never have I felt this as much as I have this week. It's been a week of hospitals, surgeries and the vets as various two legged and four legged family members fell over (me and Mum); got scanned and screened (me) and helped through their final days (my pussycat Kyle).

We're all still here and in one piece, at least for now, but it's been hard going facing certain and uncertain doom. As well as the love of a truly good man, family and friends, the one big thing that's kept me going has been my running.

I've run almost every morning this week; early, before the day gets going and people start coming to the beach.  I've been waking very early and as the worry-worms began to invade my sleep-addled head something instinctive kicked in and I knew in my very core that I had to run. And not just any run, anywhere,  I had to run on the beach. Nothing else would work, nothing else would get through the day.

Most days, the mornings have seen a thick white mist, barely able to see my feet never mind what lay ahead.  Ghostly, mysterious, still mists that hang round the ragged rocks. Spiders' webs heavy with misty droplets, marine grass beaded with diamonds. Not thinking, just running; driven by instinct and the knowledge we hold deep in our bodies that knows what we need to do to get through.

Every morning as I ran, I began to feel strong, healthy, connected to the earth. My strong legs carried me firmly and confidently over the rocks, tip toeing between stranded jellyfish, splashing in the salty puddles of the departing tide, full of life. My arms powered like pistons, pivoted from the elbows.   My head lifted, my body straightened, my brain switched to 'I can'. As I run, I am strong. I am me.  I can do this. I smile at the passing heron and the startled curlews.

I trot back up to the house feeling normal, with a clear head and a light heart.  I knew that whatever the day throws at me now and whatever comes next, I will be fine because I am strong, I am a runner and runners keep on 'til the end one way or another.

On Friday morning when the worst was over, I ran in celebration.  The rain poured, the wind pushed and shoved and tried to send me home. But I ran. I took off the trainers and ran barefoot on the beach until I was drenched and my calves began to protest. It was blissful to be alive and healthy.

 I  forget about the science, the physical and biological things I usually focus on when I'm running. Maybe I ran out of an ancient human instinct to run from what we're frightened of, I was definitely scared and if I could have run away I would have. Instead I ran the demons out of my head and came home strong, powerful and ready to face whatever came my way.

Today Ali and I went for a long walk together from North Berwick to Gullane. The beach was very different today; sunny, warm, busy with children and dogs. We felt alive, youthful and happy, glad we made it through in one piece, glad we have each other.  As I type, dear old Kyle is curled up on the floor at my feet. His running days are over, he can barely walk a few steps now, but he has a warm soft bed, tuna on tap and lots of love.

I did about 10 miles running this week; one a barefoot 3 mile session.  My long run was a 6 mile walk to Gullane. I  went barefoot almost all the way and I practiced my Chi Walking.  I'm going to have a think about what running I want to do next week, but I won't plan too much as things still feel fluid. For now, my feet will follow my heart ands all will be well.

Have a good week, whatever comes your way I wish you health and happiness.

Take care

Sue

No Regrets: Walking Barcelona

Well, I'm packing for a trip to Spain planned in the cold nights of November last year when I was full of hope and excitement at the thought of running my first marathon. But as you all know, things didn't quite work out that way. The Barcelona Marathon is almost here, but I won't be running it, I'll be watching and cheering others on.

I'm a bit sad.  I have a niggling feeling that I've missed my chance and may never run a marathon. Maybe I should have pushed through the injury and gone for it and worried about the damage afterwards. But, it's only a niggle, like a twinge that comes up a third of the way into a long run and then just pops gently like a bubble and is gone. It's not the deep sadness of regret or the pain of loss of hope or the agony of never being able to run again. No it's more a 'well it wasn't meant to be, this was not my time' sort of feeling - and life is full of those isn't it?

As I did my run round North Berwick this morning, I didn't feel sad. I felt happy - no more than that, I felt joyful. It was one of those runs where you know you're the luckiest person in the entire world.  The weather was sunny and warm, the tide was out, the mist drawing off the Bass Rock. I headed off with Chi running on the i pod, my metronome ticking away at 180bpm and Nick's feedback in mind. Everything was in good working order.

I did one of my favourite runs, up to Yellow Craigs beach and back. It's a nice mix of track and beach with the most fantastic views. I did just under 7 miles in total, with a 15 minute form session in the middle where I ran up and down the beach and worked on my footprints.  Given I'd run a couple of miles, I was really pleased with my form. Even in shoes, my footprints were so much lighter and more even than they were two weeks ago, though I can see clearly (even with my shoes on) that I need to sort my right big toe and I still have a way to go to be light! Here's a snap of my footprints next to another runner's - quite a difference. Mine originally were deeper than theirs with a much clearer heel strike. You can see where their toes grip the sand.

I was out for about an hour and a quarter in total and was pleasantly surprised by my pace and distance. I wanted to run longer but I am mindful of the need not to push my luck. I am very disciplined when it comes to doing something and going beyond the call etc, but I am rubbish at not doing things.  They say that self discipline is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets, so I gave myself another dose by walking up the hills - even though I was in full view of two local runners and was sorely tempted to look good. The internal dialogue was a bit frenzied as my inner coach gave me quite a talking to, but I did walk; I have to learn to value the discipline of not acting - does that make sense?

I got home feeling good. My quads were fresh, my calves were totally unruffled. My big toe and soleus were the bits I felt most. When I was hobbling, they really took the strain and I need to get them sorted. I suspect they're compensating for something and my money's on a too tight hamstring which I really noticed in yoga last week. I might try a podiatrist, never been to one of those.

So, I'm heading south. My suitcase is lycra free (well almost!); no garmin, running shoes, gels. Just sandals and suncream and guidebooks. I will I think shed a tear when the runners head off on Sunday, but I know that when my time comes, I will do those 26.2 miles as a much stronger and safer runner.

Whether you're running, racing, supporting, watching, be safe and be well.

Take care

Suex

Barefoot on the beach

What a totally beautiful time of year this is, a time when things are new and life is opening up into longer, warmer days. Being outside gets to be a real pleasure for me. I know us runners are supposed to revel in bad weather and endurance, but I have a south american soul which loves warmth, brightness and sunlight. Spring has finally arrived north of the border and it feels great.

This is perfect timing as I'm having my very own running spring just now. After the cold dark winter of my injury, I am bursting forth into the sun and starting to run again. Like a daffodil, the flower of my new running is emerging into the daylight, drawing on what I've built up during my hibernation. (enough of the flowers already - Ed).

Since my Chi Running session last week with Nick; things have really started shifting.  At first nothing much happened, but I gradually noticed my attention shifting towards the need to get things into balance.  Everywhere I went I've been having conversations about how we all pay most attention to the things we think matter most, so it's important to get that focus right.  I'd focussed on speed and getting things done, that needs to change, I need to focus on getting balance in my life if I'm going to keep all those plates up in the air.

Another good reason and trigger for reflection is that I'm having (yet another) transition period as I shift jobs, Mum's needs ratchet up a notch and my marathon plan bites the dust. I feel very squeezed and time-poor, which I guess like most of us, I am. But of course this is just the time to make other changes and adjustments and that's what I've been doing.

Over the last week, I have made some important changes. First, I've pulled out of all my planned races this year. My running goals and drive have to come from within me, not set by my ambitious head driving me on to do it and do it now.  That's what got me injured and I will be injured again sooner or later if I let me head control my running.  

Second, I am going to train for a marathon and that is going to be the goal of my running recovery. In the last year, I've done a sub 2 hour half marathon, a sub 25 5k and a sub 60m 10k. I could shave a few minutes off these and go for personal bests, but I still want that marathon.  I don't know where, I don't know when, but I am going to run a marathon to the best of my ability at just the right time and that is next on my running to do list. Doing that marathon and doing it in good form, good time and with a big smile is going to be my one and only running focus. 

I now have a clear goal, one that I can actually live with, and my weekly training regime is taking shape. The focus is on getting a balanced fitness regime that will give me what I want from exercise and enable me to focus my running on improving my form. 

• Spin to get the cardio and all that jazz working well (and to satiate my need to work to the max to very loud music!); 
• Yoga and Pilates to keep me in touch with my body and how it's working and keep those muscles, joints, sinews and tendons in good shape; 
• Barefoot beach running to improve and build my running technique 
• 'Long Run' where I try and maintain my form over longer distances/times (and learn to run without an i pod and get to run round East Lothian!)

I like the balance and the mix, I need variety and to be frank running safely will not satisfy me. Spin, not running, will give me speed and a serious quad and cardio workout.  Yoga and Pilates will help me keep track of how my body is handling things and how well balanced I am physically. Allocating time to form and time will help me balance the running. The date and time of my marathon will become clear. My speed will increase as I learn to run safely. I will race when I am ready. All will happen in due course as my running self gets ready and in the meantime I have taken the pressure off. 

There's a lovely story in Chi Running about focus.  The way that cats pick their prey and focus their whole attention on it. Their eyes fix on the target, behind them, their heads, their body, their movement, everything follows the focus of their eyes on the goal, the thing they want more than anything. In this case dinner!  That marathon is my goal and my journey will be to get my attention, body, movement focussed on getting there.

When I started my marathon training just before Christmas, I said I wanted to run a marathon but not at the cost of other things in my life. I should have added nor at the cost to my health and well being. It's so easy to forget to add yourself to the list of things to care about isn't it? Well I'm on the list now.

So, here's my sessions this week. Gym and swim; spin class; 45 minute 'long' run; yoga; 3mile beach walk and 30 minutes beach form training. 1 rest day. 

Wherever you are, whatever your goals, good luck in reaching them. But even more importantly, may you find reward and happiness on the way.

Take care

Suex

Runner Reborn - Barefoot Chi Running

It's not every day that you get the chance to start again, but every now and again something happens; that wee window opens and there it is, a life changing opportunity sitting there right in front of your eyes, waving. I've got one  in front of me right now as I contemplate my running future and what I want to do.

I had an amazing day in the company of Nick Constantine, @soulsinmotion to Twitter folk. Nick is  a Chi Running and Walking instructor as well an Iyengar yoga person and he was my coach for the day.  I've been mentored, but never been coached or had a personal trainer (unless you count being yelled at whilst learning to swim a breadth at primary school) but I'd read Chi Running; tried it in practice and knew that to get it right I needed some face to face coaching.  I was right and Nick was perfect for me.

Nick started off by running me through the basics, getting my head into the right place and then off to the beach.  First Nick assessed my current running form. Now I thought I had quite good form, guess we all do! But in the critical gaze of Nick's IPad, I saw a slow loper with her bum sticking out, her feet dragging and her head down.  I really hadn't tried to be perfect, but I'd been quietly confident I'd get a good mark.  My footprints on the sand were a testament to a runner heavy on her feet, who pushes off quite hard. Nick was several stone heavier than me and a heck of a lot taller, but my footprints were much much deeper than his, and that told the story.

Faced with the evidence and with Nick explaining to me what I was doing, we set about getting me re-programmed. I decided to go barefoot and I am so glad I did. I love to walk barefoot on the sand and I am an olympic level paddler, but I hadn't run barefoot on sand since I was a child.  There was something about my feet hitting the sand that helped me take it in and focus on my feet and what they do when I run.  Gradually I began to learn how to get my posture right; how to just start running without pushing off hard like a sprinter. I saw how my asymmetry affected my running and gave me a lazy side I need to tackle.

I began to understand how the way I ran was putting a lot of strain on my legs and lower back. No wonder I got injured as I began to test myself with marathon training at an age when things are losing a bit of their youthful elasticity!  Marathon training is pretty good for finding out your weak spots, but if you don't know what they are, you can't handle them.

As we chatted over a lunchtime bowl of soup at the Scottish Seabird Centre, I asked loads of daft questions, and Nick helped me make sense of my experiences that morning, including that how I run is very much like how I live my life - too much, too quick, too big a rush, always looking and planning one step ahead. Yup, that's me, even if it's largely imposed on me at the moment. I saw my video and looked at some other folk before and after chi training. I saw hunched up bouncy people becoming relaxed smooth movers. Was I going to be able to do that too? I so wanted to be one of those chi runners, they looked so good.

I was eager to get back out and learn some more so I could be a Chi runner and be one now! The tide was in so we headed off to the grass bank, but I kept my shoes off. Now for some more running practice. Nick likened it to swimming lengths and how swimmers practice by getting their form right by doing it over and over.  He also taught me I have an 'edge',  a point up to which I can hold my form, and over which things go belly up. I need to focus on extending my edge, not speed, not my distance, not racing, but extending how long and how fast I can hold my form. That tapped nicely into my Pilates head and made a lot of sense.

I learnt a lot of amazing, transformational things that afternoon. My favourite was the importance of running at a fast cadence - 175-185 steps per foot per minute. Running at round 180 reduced my overstrike, helped me lift my feet and helped me keep light. It felt effortless, in the zone; I lost that slow draggy feeling I get when I have to run slowly. It also satisfied my need for speed but without the damage that I'd been doing. One of my big problem areas is my shoulders and the need to keep my arms and hands relaxed - I really hunch up, I need to run tall. I am going to have to focus on the basics for quite a while before I start to go up the gears a bit, I am going to have to take this seriously.

At the end of a great day over a much deserved cup of tea, I felt enthused and inspired as Nick summed up what I'd achieved, what I'd learnt and what I had still to do. This is a way of running that feels great, that has pace, that will challenge me lots and will help me run forever. I know this is what I want to do. My biggest challenge though is going to be me and the way my mind works. Next morning the video, technique tips and notes arrived and I'll be sending Nick a video or two of my progress to get feedback over the next 6 months.

I've got a decision. I could just pick up where I left off and try to get back to running normally integrating  Chi techniques. I could build distance and then work up the speed, do my marathon, and hope that the Chi stuff has stuck. But what a wasted opportunity and somehow that doesn't feel like the right thing to do. I have a very strong sense that my injury demands that I start to do something different about my running if I want to run long and strong for the years ahead.

If I am going to commit to running better, I am going to have to give up, at least for now, a focus on a marathon and focus simply on how long I can hold my form for. That is going to mean heading to the beach when I can and practicing barefoot. It probably mean pulling out of the Edinburgh half in April and not running a marathon this year.

I have to say I am a bit torn, surely I could just do the marathon and then sort my form out?  Well I might get away with it, but I probably wouldn't, and if I am honest, I know that.  I know what I need to do. Have I got the mental discipline to do it? I hope so. I really really hope so.

So thank you Nick for helping me get onto the right path for my running journey, helping me set my goals and how I might get there. I'm looking forward to your next video of me showing a relaxed and confident Chi runner!

Lots of halves, 20 milers and great running this week our there in the Twittersphere. Whatever you're up to, be great, run strong!

Take care

suex