Guilt, where would we be without it! Last Saturday was a lovely sunny day and I decided to grab a bit of 'me time' trotting the roads of North Berwick. It'd been a busy week at work and Mum struggled to make sense of things, so I was a bit worn out, but wanted to keep some of that wonderful feeling of my first half marathon going.
I headed off accompanied once more by the woman's hour podcasts and as my feet got into that familiar rhythm and my mind began to relax, my thoughts turned to ......guilt. Guilt! At first I was irritated, running is supposed to soothe the mind but here I was building up a head of guilty steam and it was giving me a tough time. Guilt because I was running when Mum was on her own and I could have taken her to feed the chickens. Guilt because there was ironing to do and meals to cook for the freezer to save time during the week. Guilt because there was work work to do. Guilt for being selfish and taking time on my own. Guilt because I no longer had the excuse of training for my first ever half marathon. Guilt from asking so many favours from everyone, that I don't like to ask them for money to sponsor me and then more guilt about not raising money for charity and letting them down. Great, wonderful, fab - carer guilt writ large with bells on!
But, one of the great things about running is that it helps untangle those mental knots, so I went with the flow and let the run sort things out. I realised I had guilt about guilt - things were getting out of hand and I needed to start thinking differently or I'd just go round in circles and be no use to person or beast.
I enjoy running, but feel guilty doing it just for me. I was proud to wear an Alzheimer's Scotland shirt on the Edinburgh Half and hoped it helped to raise awareness and that made me a bit less guilty. But that wasn't quite enough to absolve me I needed more of a reason to run.
I realised I had to tackle the money bit, I had to overcome my horror of asking for sponsorship, asking for yet another favour. Somehow I had to make it so I was offering them something. I came up with a story that just about works for me, at least for now. For a donation, people could pay me to run the race for life for them. Everyone could participate - either as a runner or by paying me to do it for them. Or they could help me raise money. If I could use this to overcome my embarrassment of asking for sponsorship then I could square my guilty circle. I decided to give it a go.
Guilt was a lot of the reason I put on so much weight in the first place. I didn't leave any time for me when other people's needs were so much greater, and that did my health no good at all. It doesn't help anyone to have a sick and stressed out carer so I had to tsart looking after myself, but like many carers, I tended to put me last of a long line And I still struggle with 'me time', a lot of people do, but hey you've got to try. I know it'll take more than a long run to get all my guilt removed, I think it came hard wired!
So I've done my justforgiving website and Ali has sponsored me. I'm still not happy about asking for money, so if you have any good ideas to help me get over this hurdle I'd really appreciate it!
So, um, please sponsor me and I'll help you raise money for a great cause!
Take care
Sue
I headed off accompanied once more by the woman's hour podcasts and as my feet got into that familiar rhythm and my mind began to relax, my thoughts turned to ......guilt. Guilt! At first I was irritated, running is supposed to soothe the mind but here I was building up a head of guilty steam and it was giving me a tough time. Guilt because I was running when Mum was on her own and I could have taken her to feed the chickens. Guilt because there was ironing to do and meals to cook for the freezer to save time during the week. Guilt because there was work work to do. Guilt for being selfish and taking time on my own. Guilt because I no longer had the excuse of training for my first ever half marathon. Guilt from asking so many favours from everyone, that I don't like to ask them for money to sponsor me and then more guilt about not raising money for charity and letting them down. Great, wonderful, fab - carer guilt writ large with bells on!
But, one of the great things about running is that it helps untangle those mental knots, so I went with the flow and let the run sort things out. I realised I had guilt about guilt - things were getting out of hand and I needed to start thinking differently or I'd just go round in circles and be no use to person or beast.
I enjoy running, but feel guilty doing it just for me. I was proud to wear an Alzheimer's Scotland shirt on the Edinburgh Half and hoped it helped to raise awareness and that made me a bit less guilty. But that wasn't quite enough to absolve me I needed more of a reason to run.
I realised I had to tackle the money bit, I had to overcome my horror of asking for sponsorship, asking for yet another favour. Somehow I had to make it so I was offering them something. I came up with a story that just about works for me, at least for now. For a donation, people could pay me to run the race for life for them. Everyone could participate - either as a runner or by paying me to do it for them. Or they could help me raise money. If I could use this to overcome my embarrassment of asking for sponsorship then I could square my guilty circle. I decided to give it a go.
Guilt was a lot of the reason I put on so much weight in the first place. I didn't leave any time for me when other people's needs were so much greater, and that did my health no good at all. It doesn't help anyone to have a sick and stressed out carer so I had to tsart looking after myself, but like many carers, I tended to put me last of a long line And I still struggle with 'me time', a lot of people do, but hey you've got to try. I know it'll take more than a long run to get all my guilt removed, I think it came hard wired!
So I've done my justforgiving website and Ali has sponsored me. I'm still not happy about asking for money, so if you have any good ideas to help me get over this hurdle I'd really appreciate it!
So, um, please sponsor me and I'll help you raise money for a great cause!
Take care
Sue
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