Where there's life there's hope!

(photo from Lochaber Athletic Club page)

Day 99 in the would-be marathon runner house. Sue has been training for her marathon now for 14 weeks and 1 day. She's been in enforced taper for the last two weeks. Mileage this week - a big fat zero.

On the long and winding road to the marathon, you get training guides for the running bit, but of course the mental and emotional stuff is just as hard.  I was fine with getting out there and running and I didn't miss a single training session because I didn't feel like it.  My mental challenge was to not get carried away and over do things, to maintain and develop my form and not my speed. I had to learn to adapt as I pushed my asymmetrical body to pound the ground mile after mile. And of course to cope with the ever present possibility that at my age and with my deformed feet, legs of different lengths and iffy hips, I was pushing my body a little bit too far.

My marathon prep has been as much about staying optimistic and positive; keeping my spirits and heart lifted when it looked like my knees or my feet weren't going to make it to the end and just keeping believing that I will get there - one day.

I've had a few false starts, so  thought I'd made it this time when I hit my final training week in good form. But then things went belly up and I had to start taper early and pull out of my final long run last Saturday.

Since then I've been RICE-ing, 'resting', Pilates-ing and trying to get to the bottom of the mysterious pains that move about and appear and disappear without any clear pattern. And I've had to face up to the distinct possibility that, yet again, I'll be watching, not running, a marathon.

Hip pain is notoriously hard to diagnose apparently and I haven't bucked that rule. I had a very painful TFL immediately after the aborted long run last week, but it responded very quickly to @tomgoom's suggested treatment. By the time I hit the physio on the Monday evening I had to run round the block to get even a faint memory of a niggle.

Judith went through the possibilities. Hips sound, knees sound, nothing structural, no muscle problems. Nothing hurt except running, the one thing I really really wanted to do! This suggested something weight bearing and a few deep prods and pokes suggested the possibility of an inguinal hernia. This is a split in the ligament next to the hips. The signs were it was probably a tiny one (at the moment); the hip pain was referred pain explaining its unpredictability and flighty nature.

This was not a good diagnosis to get. I got home and googled for all I was worth. It seems that not many women get it but we can do. The male runners seemed just to whack on extra tight lycra, take pain killers (or not!) and run with it in that macho way that MAMIL's do.  I didn't even contemplate that approach. Whether I'm a wimp or not, my pain was definitely not runnable with, not least because it brought with it impaired mobility- ie a totally seized up hip and a pronounced hobble.  To add to the risk factors, I've been running almost entirely on soft sand and through woods, a weight bearing injury on tarmac was not going to feel any better than on the sand dunes. I didn't want to walk a marathon so the prognosis for making the start line was not good.

As I pondered the probable end of my hopes for Lochaber, I was sad, but not desperate. When I thought about running with a split ligament, it just felt wrong. I saw 26.2 miles; 5 plus hours of not just pain, but a worsening injury that could take a long time to heal, might even need surgery. I also know that the effort to work round the pain would put other bits of me at risk too. It was clear to me that this is as much about the quality of my running as the simple number of miles. I want to feel good when I start, I want to run (as much as I can) not walk it and I want to finish tired, sore but healthy and ready to run again soon.

But of course, without some sort of scan, I don't know it's definitely a hernia, so I kept an optimistic heart and an open mind. On Tuesday morning, I headed off to the GP with my diagnosis. He did the usual tests (lots of coughing!) and couldn't find any suggestion of a hernia. My symptoms were classic hip pain and he also pointed to a massive bruise on my hip, quite yellow by now and probably from the leaping dog. My GP said I needed to rest from running and go back if it didn't go away. The mystery thickened.

I decided to do some gentle experimentation. Judith said if it was a hernia then I'd be fine to walk and run to tolerance.  I did my Pilates class with ne'er a twinge and had a quick go on the treadmill. First I did a little slow run. I barely managed 1k before the niggle started so stopped immediately and tried fast walking and walking up hills.  Nothing hurt. Not a twinge. I was delighted. This meant I could do a bit of taper training, handy if I could eventually run and good for morale.

But that night my hip kept me awake. I was in agony.  I began to think I didn't have a hernia after all. I started to worry it was something really serious, a stress fracture in the hip maybe? That's also hard to diagnose and you can end up out of action for a long long time.  No more running, no more treadmills. I did almost panic.

But I could walk and keeping moving definitely felt better for my hip than sitting or lying. So Ali and I had a lovely long Easter Saturday walk up to Yellowcraigs and back (my short run route!).  I felt fine except for a bit of stiffness in the hip which disappeared over a bowl of delicious soup at the Dirleton Cafe.  Yards from home, after about 6 miles walking, I got that now familiar sharp pain in the hip and  couldn't walk. Ali had to run back and get the car to drive me home.

Despite the pain, I was quite pleased to have a bit more of the jigsaw, another clue.  Walking for a long time, even on soft sand made it worse. Short walks and standing were fine. The pain went almost immediately I stopped walking.  Lying on my hip made it worse. It started to look like I might have hip bursitis which is linked to leg length disparity (tick), repeated activity (tick) and a tight ITB (tick).   I'm back to the physio tomorrow so will find out more then.  Bursitis is treatable with rest and a steroid injection. I might just make it....

As I type this I don't know if I will be able to run 26.2 miles  in less than two weeks time. I have a sense of hope, but I'm not sure if it's realistic or not, it's too soon to tell. But I know that whilst it would be a blow, running that distance on that date is really not what it's about.

For over 3 months I have trained diligently and hard and never missed a session except to avoid injury.  I've learnt from last year's calf tear and run stronger than ever before. I've done the hard work, I've put the hours in; I've built the mileage up; I've been out in some of the worst weather we've had for years.

Training for the marathon has been an amazing experience. I've discovered the joy of the long run and my 2 twenty milers have been memorable high spots which I am so proud of. I want to do more of them in future just because I loved doing them.  I've learnt so much about myself and built up my confidence in my ability to take on a challenge, to get through the tough bits.

I will miss this marathon gladly if it means I can run along the beaches here all summer long and enjoy the warm sun (!), the colours, the sound of the waves. I will not run if I know I'm likely to harm myself, I run to celebrate health.

Finishing a marathon is just the icing on the cake, the public affirmation and the formal marker of something the world sees as significant. But inside, in me, I carry every mile, every step, every heartbeat with pride. I am changed forever and that's what I value.

I've read two very inspiring posts this week from runners I admire who have great wisdom and humility.  Their words have helped me a lot, echoing so closely what I also have found to be true.
Paul  and Tom. Thank you guys.

I'm also enjoying taper! I got time with Ali and time to help the cats learn about the great world outside.    Here's Dougal lording it over his new domain. Hamish was a bit too quick for me to capture, it's all bit scary for him.

Whatever you're up to, I hope you and yours are well and happy.  Good luck with all your endeavours.

Take care

Suex

Marathon Training Update: The Last Push

Week 12 beckons. One more week of training runs before the taper. One more 20 miler. One more week of 30 plus miles. This week, I've been preparing for my last long run next weekend, the dress rehearsal for the big day.

I had a few kit failures when I did the the Meadows Half and that's been a really important bit of learning for me.  I hated being too hot and it is much colder running along the open beach into the wind, so I've got a couple of new lighter weight tops. My big toe-pad got sore because my socks were a wee bitty worn, so I've got Balega socks which are wonderfully soft and cushioned yet light.  I also stocked up on gels as I need a boost at about 7 miles (more mental than physical).  I'm loving the SIS berry and caffeine ones - you don't need to take them with water. And to counter the flapping i pod and melting jelly babies, I've got a neat little Nathan belt for my drinks and one for the iplayer.  I tried them all out yesterday and it all felt pretty comfortable.  I think I might need something more through, I don't travel light - tissues and lip salve are essentials!

Mentally, I've got my running head back on after the half. I'm back to normal,  I shoe up and head off and run until it's time to stop. But with a lot on the to do list and I think as I get to the end of the training, I've caught myself fighting the urge to get the run done quickly. The discipline for me is to focus on how long I run. I've learnt that if I start the run with the intention of running for one, two, three, four hours, with no thought of distance or pace then my mind just settles down and gets on with it.

It's been a massive challenge to stick to my cunning plan and I thought I'd got it sussed, but this week I caught myself at it again - trying to get out of the deal so I can do it more quickly. At about half way through my short run this week, I caught myself arguing with myself that I run for 10 k or an hour which ever comes first. I caved in (I've been fretting about my slower 10K and half marathon times) and I ran too fast. I might have saved myself a few minutes running time, but my knee hurt and niggled me on my long run yesterday. And it was harder to slip into that endurance frame of mind because I'd focussed on speed again. Grrr! Silly Sue!

But better to know this now than bombing it on the big day and I still have time to make some adjustments. I realised that this is probably what they mean by working out a race strategy. So that's on my list as well.   Up until now my strategy has been to get to the start line in one piece and then run til the end and finish with a smile.  I've also been practicing negative splits as a way to manage my speed addiction and it's taught me how much better I do if I keep it slow at the start.  So I'm going to treat Saturday's last long run like a mock marathon; a dress rehearsal. Not 26.2 miles, but I am going to give myself a treat afterwards to mark an achievement - getting to the end of another stage of the journey.

This week has been a lower mileage week - 30 miles in total (I nearly said 'only' 30 miles and then realised that was silly!). I've done my Pilates, yoga and rolling and stretching which have become as essential as the running. I even managed a Sunday swim to loosen everything up and take the weight off everything.  I'm ready for the last push.

Four weeks today til the Lochaber Marathon- if I'm spared and well. Four more weeks.

Scary.

Gulp.

Whatever you're up to, have a good week.

Take care

Suex

Meadows Half Marathon: Race Report

Well, I had my first race in 18 months today - the Meadows Half Marathon in Edinburgh.  I picked this race partly because it's perfect timing for the Lochaber Marathon but also because it's not your usual run of the mill big business marathon. The Meadows Marathon, half and fun runs is organised entirely by Volunteers from Edinburgh Universities and you can tell! (in the best possible way of course!).

My goal wasn't about muscles and cardio, it was learning about running for an event - and I'm so glad I did it, I really needed the experience. I had one of those runs that can only be described as a learning experience, despite all the great work done by the Meadows folk, I did not run my best.

I headed off with great excitement and a bit of trepidation, my tummy full of porridge and peanut butter. I had my ipod, my jelly babies, my sports drink and the usual tummy-settlers to keep things on an even keel.  I tweeted all the way in and it was great to feel the wonderful Twitter community around me.

I arrived in good time, dropped off by the sainted Ali, but I spent ages finding the registration building. There were no signs I could see, the stewards (from a security company) weren't very helpful but another runner took pity on me and took me into the building (I saw him later powering round, I hope he had a cracker of a race). It probably reflected that most of the runners knew the Union buildings so didn't need signage.

Once I got to the right place, things went like clockwork - the best organisation I've seen, it was great. Registration was incredibly efficient and swift. I really liked the way they kept things simple and cut down on waste and costs; it was a clean, lean system and it worked really well and focussed on raising money for charity not paying for admin and advertising.  By using the student facilities in Bristo Square, there were ample toilets and great facilities - best ever. I DID NOT HAVE TO QUEUE FOR THE TOILET ONCE! The toilets were real toilets, not porta loos. They were clean with all the bits and pieces a civilised toilet needs and they did not smell. With a cafe and shops round to cater for your every need, this was spot on.  What a great start to the race, especially if you're nervous. 10/10.

The warm up was great fun and really got us ready to run, but we were at the start line for a while. I stood in the wrong bit - I was surrounded by young muscled men and older lycra-d ones (MAMILs, if you take a modern definition of middle age staring at 60!).  Lots of macho stuff about times and how many marathons they were doing, oh and they just wanted to get round, probably in an hour or so (!).   Note to self - stay at the back next time! The race looked quite male dominated, and I don't recall seeing many women of a certain age running, but that's probably to be expected given it's university connections.

After the rousing countdown we were off -  7 laps of the Meadows for those of us on the half, 14 for the full marathon.  I have to be honest I hadn't really thought my strategy through properly and that was stupid. I thought I'd go for 2 hours or so to match my time two years ago. I wanted to start slow and finish faster. So I set my starting pace at 10.  I stayed steady as the young men streaked past me, patting myself on the back for not speeding up and that was fine for 5 miles. But then I started feeling out of sorts. I was too hot, but because I had my ipod in my jacket pocket, I couldn't take it off.  My sports drink was really sticky and seemed to be leaking onto my jacket and my sticky fingers irritated me. The skin under my big toe began to feel sore and I kept forgetting how many laps I'd done. The cobbles - only a very short bit in and out of George Square - got to me, making me worry about my ankle, worry about falling and making my toe sore (on the bright side it was dry!).

At about half way round, the fast marathon runners were lapping me and I remembered how much I hate running with men (sorry guys!).  They just treat us slower runners as if we're invisible and not as important as them and I got cross with one or two who clipped me. The older ones were the worst. Is it really okay to be rude when you're running? I'm sure they wouldn't behave like this in other contexts.

And I missed the sea, I missed the views. I missed the freedom to run where I wanted. I had to stamp on that line of thought pronto - it was a really bad thing to think when you're running an event involving laps round a massive field!

At about 10 miles, I realised I'd made a serious tactical error with the jelly babies. For some reason that can only be described as insanity, I put them in the little pocket at the back of my leggings (you know the one). They basically melted or dissolved or something equally unsavoury and made a horrendous sticky mess. Yuk! I was mainly annoyed by my stupidity on that one. I know not to do that. More stickyness.

The only thing that kept me going was the lovely, smiley and supportive stewards and the crowds who were just wonderful. Those young men and women were fantastic. Every lap I looked forward to seeing that familiar smiley faces and getting a wave, it made the lap system bearable. The way they smiled and cheered as I went past, I kept thinking I must have Jennifer Ennis or Mo Farah behind me! It made the race for me, those lovely young bright faces giving up their Sundays to make this work and cheer us on. I hope they know how much we appreciated them, I tried to say thank you where I could.

The Scouts (or cubs maybe - at my age I can't tell the difference!) did a wonderful job of handing out the water - the best hander-overers I've come across. When I saw those faces eagerly proffering water, I had to take a cup every time I went past and they collected all the waste ones after. Big green ticks all round for a job very well done guys.

Most awesome were the women walking for Water Aid, they were carrying some ridiculous amount of weight round with them. Total Sheros every one of them. Respect ladies, respect.

As my big toe got more tender, I noticed that I was compensating and my form was going belly up, so I slowed down; what did it matter if I wasn't going to make under 2 hours?  When I saw the finish line however, I just went for it and ended the race with a sprint - there was more in those legs.  2 hours and 12 minutes. 13 minutes slower than my only other half marathon.

I was disappointed, I know so much more now about running now and I was fully fuelled so I'd secretly hoped for a sub 2 hour time. But for whatever reason, I was just not in the zone today and I couldn't get back to my former glory. There was no way I could have run a marathon feeling like that either, I was slow and knackered and not in good spirits and things didn't work. Yet last week, I ran 20 miles quite happily with a sprained ankle - a minor sprain to be true, but more than a blister. What is that about? But maybe I'm being unfair on myself, this was the fastest 13.1m I've run in my marathon training so maybe that's not so bad.

A massive thank you to the Meadows Marathon folk for making it such a great event, well organised, friendly and a real testament to young folk. It was a pretty good goodie bag - the highlight being the Tunnock's caramel wafer, the banana and the MM key ring. There's also a emergency blanket and a Nuffield carry bag). There's a medal but I really wish that was optional, I think medals are a waste.  I could have had a massage too, but I left that for the serious marathon folk.  To make up a few miles, I ran back to the gym, re fuelled and had a sauna and a shower before heading home with a bagel and a cuppa.

So, lots learnt. I need to do some serious reflection about my kit, especially my belt and where I keep my iPod.  And I need to re think my fuelling strategy too. I started too full and everything got too sticky! The main thing I need to work out is my race strategy. Lochaber is 13.1 out and 13.1 back along the loch, so how am I going to manage that? My strategy today was not well thought through and not sensible.

Otherwise, I've done less running this week whilst I waited for my ankle to settle down. Luckily those beach runs have strengthened my feet so there was little damage other than bruising and an overworked ankle. RICE and arnica did the trick and my physio gave me the all clear on Wednesday; I was back running Thursday dark o'clock.

A total of 25 ish miles done, my ankle works and I survived those cobbles. I ran my fastest 13.1 miles of my marathon training and I have some excellent feedback on what not to do when I finally get to marathon day. Job done I reckon and you have to stay positive or you'd give up and I can't do that.

Next week back to the physical side of things; and the beach - Hooray! I hope to got for another 20 miler and save the intervals and hills for when I cut the mileage down

I hope whatever you've been up to this week, you've had a good one and are on target!

Take care

Suex