Noises Off

The gradual coming together of my Yoga and Chi Running learning is a constant source of delight. On Monday morning I went along to the mindfulness meditation session at the Community Centre. It's quite a new group and sitting still type meditation is something I've never done before on a regular basis (I'm a terrible fidget). It's very different to the total immersion of retreats, and excellent for getting a much clearer focus on the importance of practice.

This week we did a guided mediation in which we were asked to focus on the sounds around us. It was quite remarkable how that shift of attention changed the world. Suddenly I could hear my tummy quietly going about its business, the cars outside, laughter in a distant corridor. As the focus deepened, the ticking of the clock disappeared and I could hear the breathing of my fellow meditators, everyone breathing in a different way. It was good to feel that connection through breathing.

I was very aware of the difference between noticing a sound, naming it and judging it. I think that might be the first time I've been able to deconstruct my thoughts in that way and it's something that I really need to practice, my thoughts tumble and leap like mad things.

I went out for a run this morning - my first since getting a chest infection which I've struggled to shake off. It was a lovely morning and I headed off down to the beach with no trace of wind - it was coming from the South West so the beach was quite calm.  I saw no one this morning until I got onto the road, just pink clouds and many birds.

About 10 minutes in I had to remove my headphones. I wanted to hear the sounds around me. It wasn't a conscious thing but I know where it came from. I could hear my breathing - a bit more laboured than usual but I was breathing! There was the sound of the sea quite calm today after all the recent excitement. As I ran up the hill past the golf course, I heard the babbling brook and the sound of the birds in their full spring voice. I heard pigeons coo, oystercatchers shriek and curlews do that amazing curlew thing that we all love.

Like in the meditation class, I heard the noises round me and let them go as I ran on, running through the soundscape, leaving the sounds and the associated thinking behind me as I ran.

I went farther than I meant to and managed just over 4 miles. It was slow with a walk up a hill and I incorporated my 'skipping along the road' routine aimed at trying to get some bounce back into these old legs.  I must look bonkers but it's quite nice to be a bit Tiggerish at times!

A shower and a good Yoga session to finish it off and I was at the desk at 9am ready to change the world.


Life is good!

Have a great Wednesday!

Take care

Suex

A little bit of help:

Okay,  Summer's over, the nights are fair drawing in and work's on a mad rush before Christmas.  Things are hectic. Getting out of bed in the dark is hard work. Going out for a run in the cold is hard work. Resisting that chocolate biscuit is a real challenge. This is the time of year when the lure of the armchair is strong.  This is the time of year when my will power has its work cut out.

I've blogged before about will power; it's like a muscle, you can train it and strengthen it, but if pushed too hard it can get worn out. By the time I get home from work, my will power runs at a peep. That's when I get my reward for getting through the day (and they do say will power is linked to low blood sugar levels).  On good days or when the wind allows, my reward might be a run, or in the summer we go for a walk. But on the bad days, especially the cold, dark, wet winter evenings, my attention turns to cake or a slice of toast (or maybe even a glass of wine!).

So I was intrigued to hear about some research (scroll down a bit)  about how we might be helped to cope when our willpower tank is running on empty.  Psychologists in Aberdeen stuck signs in coffee shops giving calorie counts for different food choices. These are organised from the lowest calorie options on the left to the highest calorie ones on the right.  Next to it is a little note saying that if you want to eat fewer calories then you might want to think about picking something from the left hand side. A little reminder, a helping hand. Not a fact, not a lecture, just a little helpful reminder - a nudge. They picked left to right as apparently we have a small bias to things we see on our left so pay attention to the left (hmm I wonder if that works if your writing goes the other way...).

Anyway, sales of high calorie foods dropped and sales of about half (not all) of the low calorie foods increased. There was a shift from high calorie to low calorie options - a black coffee instead of that latte. And even more interestingly, when they asked customers what they thought, the ones who scored lowest on will power were more likely to change what they bought and many went for the lower calorie option. Hurray! A win for us, a win for researchers and a blow to obesity!

But never, ever underestimate the ability of us humans to do the unexpected.  The researchers found that some people just swopped one high calorie option for another. Instead of having that latte they had 3 chocolate bars - the same number of calories, the same unhealthy options.  They were all women. They were probably calorie counting and this was their treat. I think that's fair enough.

There's no doubt that with our busy lives, worry and stress pull us in a whole load of directions. In winter it can all be a little bit harder.  There's a lot of reasons given for the rise in obesity and I do wonder if our busy lives, lack of time and our many responsibilities drain our will power even more than in the past. Plus we have more temptations and choices and it's all too easy to go for the comforting treat. I don't think we suddenly have more lazy people in the world; none of the overweight people I know could be ever be seen as lazy. Busy? Juggling like mad? Yes! Lazy? Definitely not.

I know my will power varies a lot and not always predictably. A run can fire me up making me feel strong and healthy and I really (really) don't want to eat chocolate. But the next run really deserves that cake! An extra pound on the scales can set me back on track with vigour or send me straight to  the biscuit tin with depression.  I know when I was caring for Mum on top of a busy job I couldn't resist the chocolate treats I bought her to encourage her to eat something.

So if the researchers can come up with something that helps us remember that we do have a choice and makes us think for just a moment, then I think that's brilliant. A little note so we think twice before reaching for that bun when we're on autopilot and making lists about lists in our heads. It's not a nag. It's not a lecture. It's a helpful reminder for busy people with busy lives.

Talking of which, I've had another reminder this week. I've been in serious running mode. Despite the weather, I've wanted to run every day and do hills and tempo runs and just run and run. But on Wednesday I got a twinge in the area of my calf where I had an injury. So I've made myself do an easy run and take 2 rest days, even though the sun's been shining and I could have run (grrr).  Half of me feels like a sulky teenager, the other half feels strong and sensible.  I still did 4 runs, 25 plus miles. I feel good!

The Chi running is really helping me in so many ways, including my tendency to over do things. I wonder if it can help me sort out my tendency to overeat!


Hope you've had a good week. Take care

Suex

right brain running

I'm not really one for planning and preparing.  I don't read instructions before playing with a new toy or gadget. In those away days we used to have, I was the one who just wanted to get on with it and work out what to do as we went along.  I've never had a career plan, I just went for interesting jobs in places I wanted to live. I follow the road less travelled and I can't resist taking a peek at what's over that hill or round the corner.  In my book, life is an adventure, you never know what's coming up, so what's to plan for? Life is to be lived on a wing and a hunch.

And then I took up running.

I started running in the same way I take on anything new in life, I just did it and then worked out what I was up to.  Every Friday when I was working from home to do Mum stuff, I'd go out for a run. I ran for as long and as far and as fast as it felt good.  Gradually I went longer, faster and farther. I added a hill or two. I simply went with how my body felt and soon I was doing 6/7 miles quite happily, running 10 or 15 minutes longer without clock watching. Then I started running twice a week and started pushing my distance ready for my first half marathon. I cross trained, ran when I felt like it and hadn't even heard of tempo runs. So far, so happy; free running, hippy hoppy bunny.

And then I decided to do a marathon. I started reading about training plans and pace and intervals and all the rest of it. I stopped doing what felt right, I stopped trusting my instinct and my body. I started following plans and schedules, my head took control, pushed my body beyond its limits, and as you know, it ended in tears.

This year has been about re building myself as a runner; using Chi Running to improve my technique, manage my need for speed and taking a mindful approach.   I've had no other running goal and have simply allowed myself to evolve and unfold through my running.   And it's working really well, I've never been happier or run better.

Out on my long run today I had a breakthrough. I was idly thinking about my runs this week, when I realised I was doing something really important, I was starting to reflect on my running.  I realised that this week, without planning it, I'd done an unintended tempo run. I found the faster pace quite a challenge but it felt good and I was much faster the next day. I was surprised how long I could run at that speed. More importantly, I'd caught my mind telling me to stop well before my legs were done.  I ignored my head and ran a bit further and got another 10 minutes at tempo. I could have done more, but part of the discipline is to know when to stop.

Next I realised I was in the middle of my longest run since my injury and again, without planning it, I was running at long run pace. It was a very different experience of running than I was used to.  As I trotted on, I began to understand why the long run has to be done slowly. How else are you going to know what it feels like to run for ages and get the mental stamina to keep going? The slow run meant I could run longer and it gave me very useful feedback on how my body was responding. I have some corrections to make.

I've made a commitment to regular sports massages as a way to avoid injuries and to keep track on how my body is working. I had a great sports massage from Lizelle at Physio Plus in North Berwick, the people who got me back on my feet after Christmas.  The combination of me telling her what I've noticed when I run and her massage skills and expert knowledge are helping me understand what's going on under the skin and helping me nip things in the bud. Don't laugh, but my sartorial muscle is playing up!

Gradually, my mind and body are getting in touch with each other and talking the same language, what I need to do is to keep reflecting, keep learning, give my head chance to catch up with my body.

I think the message is that my legs are ready to rock. It's time to start thinking about a challenge. Time to start pushing my boundaries a bit. Time to think about that marathon.  Time to contact my Chi Running teacher, Nick.

So a very rewarding running week. Four runs. 23 Miles. My longest long run and my first tempo since the injury. Yay!

Hope you've had a good week and that the week to come is all you want it to be.

Take care,

Suex

You are what you think: mindful reflections on running

You know how the weather's been a bit rubbish this week? Well muggins was out and about, running  through what can only be described as North Berwick's equivalent of a monsoon, heading up a muddy slope, when I realised I was in survival mode.  My teeth were gritted, my smile had become a grimace and my head was down, eyes firmly fixed on the road in front.  Mentally and physically I'd hunkered down. I was doing a run, and that was that.  'That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger' I muttered as I turned into the wind and rain.

As I pulled myself upright physically, I smiled and my spirits lifted too.  How many times has every one of us uttered those words and how true it is that those toughest of times help us grow and strengthen.  Running in the rain is hardly the end of the world or indeed of any note at all really; as our Madeiran walking guide said to us 'it's only water' (what he didn't know was that at that very moment, the Icelandic Volcano was spewing out the ash that meant we came home by boat!).

Another favourite quote is the one from Hilary Clinton - about not wasting a good crisis.  Somehow despite the bad stuff, the seeds of hope and a better future are often closest to us when the going gets tough. And there is something very powerful about getting something good out of the hard stuff in life, it feels like somehow things even out in the end.

As I ran on, I was thinking about the tv programmes about the Olympic greats and all the studies that show that the truth of the Buddhist quote that we are what we think.  I've coped with missing my marathon and my calf injury by seeing my calf as teacher and a guide that will help me on my running journey, wherever that takes me.  I'm still being amazed by how that calf is keeping me right, reminding me that every thought has consequences. In lots of ways, it was my running equivalent of a near death experience - a serious health warning to change my ways or else - and it certainly did the trick. Maybe it's best to say it's still guiding me, there are no guarantees in life I know.

It's helped me re-write my personal rule book.  I used to have a general rule on no stopping until I finished whatever I was up to. I've seen me up ladders trying to stay awake with a paintbrush in my hand at 2am rather than leave a job unfinished. Looking at the wall in the cold light of the next morning, I could see that it hadn't been my best paint job.    From somewhere I managed to develop running rules too, like I have to run non stop, walking not allowed; and  I have to do a long run every week. Keep going 'til you drop might have its moments, but I no longer think it's the right rule to live or run by - the dropping bit can be a bit literal!

My new rules are to listen to my body and obey,  to focus on improving my running form and not to push myself hard on more than one run each week.  If I do a long run, I can't do hills. If I do a speed run, I can't do long distance.   It's strange not to get out for a good long session each week.  But  I've rather enjoyed getting that bit of time back, though I feel a bit guilty saying that.  And I return to my long run with a new vigour and energy and appreciation - absence truly does make the legs grow fonder.

There's another valuable gift that my injury is giving me - I'm learning to be disciplined and take control.  Running, and indeed life in general,  for me can sometimes be like taking a lively and enthusiastic golden retriever for a walk, my thoughts go bounding off dragging me after imaginary rabbits and interesting distractions only coming to rest when exhausted or hungry. So when I hear that little voice saying 'an extra mile? go on, go on!', I have to say 'no'.

So what if I can do 2 more miles, that's not the point, I know I can run further than is good for me. What I need to learn is discipline and control, I have to practice hard on these, it's quite a challenge for an old hippy 'go with the flow' person like me. But the deal is, when I get a better grip on things I can say 'yes' if it's the right thing to do.  They do say willpower and discipline work like a muscle, so f I can extend this discipline to cake and toast, I'm sorted!

My running journey is proof to me that I am what I think. Everyone's journey is different and it's a deeply personal experience that touches the very heart of who we are. That's so clear in the stories of the heroes and sheros we see all around us during this fabulous summer of sport and it makes their achievements even more memorable and awesome.

It's been a good running week for me despite the weather. Heavy spin class, my 5 miles and 5 hills route with my first ever series of hill sprints at the end (I only did 4 sprints, but I get the gist!). Also a fabulous sunny morning, speedy barefoot 3 miles on the beach and a long sunny 7 miler run. Distance and rigour building slowly.

North Berwick is always a beautiful place to run, but in the sun it is truly stunning - as you can see from my mid-run snap.

So onwards and upwards as they say. Raise a glass to our Tour Champion, what a great achievement. Have a great week's running and only 5 more sleeps until the Olympics!!

Take care

Sue

Runner Reborn - Taking to the hills

You know you read all that stuff about how hills are good for you? Well they are, but I think they should give hills a health warning. Hills are hard. Hills are dangerous. Never ever under-estimate a hill, treat it with respect. I didn't, I paid the price. Now I take hills very seriously indeed.

A couple of weeks ago, I did my first hill session since 'the injury'.  It was going on for four months after the evil day, so I reckoned I was about ready.  I'd always had hills in my training before, so I decided it was time to start taking them on again.

Now I like hill work outs. I like the way they push me and the sense of achieving something hard. Hills are a great way of adding a little bit extra to a run to push you a bit, especially when you're short of time. I saw hills as more about will than muscle and as I believe that I am, deep down, a really lazy person, I see hills as character building. I never had a single twinge or problem doing hills other than the usual pain and exhaustion!

Now I'm not daft, I did take it easy. I  have a run I used to do when I first started running which I wouldn't call a hill, more an incline. North Berwick Law, that's a hill and I have run (sort of) up it. There's a few other steep paths round here climbing up from the sea, so I thought I'd be fine if I avoided those and went for something much gentler.

So off I went. About 20 minutes in my injured calf started to give me a good nipping in exactly the place where the tear had been. Absolutely no doubt, I was irritating the bit I'd injured.  A recovering injury makes body-sensing almost inevitable.  I didn't panic, but I didn't run through it either. I used my running form to control the nipping - reducing my stride, slowing the pace a bit, making sure my posture was good, relaxing my lower leg. As I experimented, I tested my leg's reaction to how I ran. What was it in my running that lay behind that horrid niggling reminder of my dark days? What did I need to do now to avoid it happening again?

I gradually worked out how to work with the injury. I found I could stop my calf hurting, I was in control. I resisted the temptation to push the distance, even though the nipping stopped and I headed home along the flat - slowly and carefully and finished off with a really good stretch and a roller session.

I know now that my calf injury was triggered by me doing a massive steep hill in the second half of my  third half marathon distance long run on a Sunday.  Another major and stupid error for which I paid the price. I'd not done a reduced mileage for ages  - why should I, I felt great!  I was bonkers. I've cycled and walked up that hill before and it's a a struggle even in granny gear; even after serious spinning training. But that day before Christmas I ran up it. I went slowly but that probably made it even worse. When that calf muscle called out to me the other day, I realised what I'd been putting my body through as I pushed myself. I'd acted like I was invincible.

But, as a reborn runner I am starting again, rebuilding myself.  The combination of really listening to my body and not my i pod and having a method for analysing my form is transforming my running.  A small physical adjustment took the pressure off that muscle and I could run pain free. A massive mental adjustment and working on my focus meant I noticed a problem and responded to it before it got too big. A boost of discipline means I now walk up hills - unless I am specifically out on a planned hill session.

I'd never thought about hills as being high risk for my poor legs, but I do now.  I get the power of hills and how they found my weak spot.  I have to treat hills with respect and progress slowly and gradually.  Which I suppose is what I should have done in the first place - but hey isn't that life!

I've had a great running week. I am so enjoying my running just now, it's more rewarding than it's ever been. Every run has felt good and I can see progress - not just in speed or distance, but more importantly in what I learn and the type of runner I'm growing into. And as you can see flat running doesn't have to be easy or boring!

Three runs this week and one spin class. I've done another 10 miler in a slightly faster cadence than last week - pretty flat as you can see!  A shorter faster run and a recovery jog barefoot on the beach. I'll have an enforced reduction in mileage next week and instead of fretting about not being able to run, I'm going to be grateful that it it fits so well with my plans.  Well that's the theory!

Happy running!

take care

Suex